Thursday, June 29, 2006
Monkey actually asked for a nap today - a little earlier than usual, but he's still recovering. The fever he's been fighting for the past 9 days seems to be under control, his face has lost that sunken, hollowed out look he had in the hospital, and he's been running around the house with the same energy level as normal. Banging on the sliding glass door, demanding to be let out yesterday was a good sign. His appetite is slowly returning, as demonstrated by the way he happily devoured a half of a chocolate chip muffin this morning. He's drinking his milk again, his juice, and will occasionally sip some water from a glass if I push it. Most of all, he's smiling again, and trying to play which is such a huge improvement from where he was last week. It's so good to be back home.
There is one thing that continues to bother me though. He's still behaving in some troublesome ways that make me wonder how badly this last hospital visit affected him. He's still crying out loud when he hears the door open in his bedroom, he screams in terror when we try to lift him from his crib in the morning, and he thrashes his body around in violent convulsions when we try to restrain him in his high chair for a meal. This has been occurring regularly and is bewildering. Normally, monkey awakens from a nap happy, smiling and chatting. He can't wait to get out and run around.
Now, the only way to calm him from one of these fits is to let him bring his stuffed cow downstairs with him, lay him in the pack-n-play in the playroom with the lights low for awhile, and leave him alone till he acclimates. I've sat with him, watching him in the dim light, clutching his cow and rocking back and forth, and it's scary. This is just not him. He looks traumatized.
I can't help but think the ordeal at the hospital is still burned into his mind, and he seems unable to trust us right now. He doesn't want to be held or restrained in any way. I know eventually he will forget about what happened, but for right now, I know he remembers. And his odd behavior reflects that. Unfortunately, we have to bring him back to the hospital tomorrow for some follow up blood tests. And I am dreading it.
It seems like there is no end in sight.