Little Monkey and Friends

Here we are again..on the eve of another new year. Like the Roman god for which it is named, January is a time when we look both forwards and back. Since we'll be spending a boring evening at home, like the parents that we are, I thought I'd get a jump start on some blogging.

Here are a few of my favorite moments in 2007.



March 2007 - Miss Mina at the park in Florida. This might have been her first time in a swing alone. As you can see, her joy was self-evident. Like any parent, I compare my two monkeys along their developmental milestones, but also the little things. The quirky little differences in personality they have. They are so close in age, it feels like I'm raising twins. One of the many nice things about that small age gap is that my memory is still pretty fresh for the details. I can clearly remember the first time I put Jordan in a baby swing at the park. True to the personality he still demonstrates today, he was much more cautious, much quieter, and much more careful about the whole thing.

Mina, in the other hand, almost snorted with laughter when she flew through the air. She continues to be fearless in the face of situations involving potential physical danger. I'm not sure how I feel about this. But, that day at the park, her gummy smile was infectious.



Jordan and Grace look out on the water. That same trip, we had a quiet little moment on the gazebo overlooking the small lake near Grace's house. I snapped the pic in an almost hushed moment of intensity. I wanted to capture the stillness of the two of them. If just for a minute.



May 2007 - Jordan upstate, NY.

This year we visited my parents up at the family homestead, and once again, Jordan embraced the flora and fauna like a true country boy. I love this about him. Up there, he ran through the tall grass, happily blew dandelion spores a/k/a "poofs" all over the lawn, and listened intently as I explained one species of bird, plant, or another to him on our walks. His ability to focus, and listen, and ask questions amazes me. It amazes me that we have conversations now, that he's inquisitive and engaging, and loves to explore.



May 2007 at the Aquarium, Coney Island.

Continuing in that vein, Jordan had a fun time at the NY Aquarium during his first visit. He stood at the main fish tank near the entrance, entranced by the many varieties of aquatic wonders. He was so happy. So unabashedly happy. I love that about kids. They don't hide what they are feeling. And their joy can be so pure sometimes, it almost hurts to see.



May 2007, Riz's graduation, Buffalo.

May was a busy month. It was also the first time, I was ever away from both my monkeys for any extended period of time. In May, I travelled solo to Buffalo to see my baby brother graduate from medical school. It was awesome. Apart from sharing in the proud moment of watching him accept his medical degree, I thoroughly enjoyed my indulgent time away from the brood. I slept in, got a massage, and enjoyed a few meals without one child or another smearing something sticky on my clothes. You see the white linen shirt I am wearing in the picture? Believe me, it never makes an appearance in the regular course of my life as a mom. It wouldn't last a minute.



June 2007.

Back to life. Back to reality. In June we travelled to California. A long flight was quickly forgotten as we enjoyed the monkeys interacting with their west coast cousins. It was such a blast seeing them all together.



Mina at the pool in California. The beautiful weather was only part of it. Our hosts, Richard and Audrey, went to so much trouble to make us comfortable, to keep our days filled with kid friendly activities, etc. Miss Mina enjoyed herself to no end. This kid loves the water.



June 2007. Town Carnival. Going down the big slide.

You know how sometimes an idea seems good when you think of it, but then you actually have to execute? At that moment, in the middle of it, you find yourself wondering, "what the hell am I doing?

I try not to have too many of those moments anymore, because after all, I'm a mom now and all, and damn..I'm supposed to be responsible, and model good behaviour and such for the kids. But I still have my stupid parenting moments. Here was one of them. It seemed like a fun idea at the time. Let's take the monkey down the big slide at the carnival. He had recently overcome his fear of the slides at the park. I thought, "why not challenge him a bit? I'll be right there with him."

Argh.

Even as we climbed the pitch-steep wobbling steel stairs, I pondered the potential humiliation of turning around and slinking back down. I tried to ignore the five year olds racing to get ahead of me. And then, I sat there on the top of the slide, Monkey in my arms, the entire contraption swaying in the breeze, and I prayed I would make it to the bottom.

We did. The best part? Hearing the Monkey's giddy little laugh as we rocketed down the slope. "Again." He said, as we reached the bottom.




July 2007. Once you have kids, spending some time alone as a couple becomes a rare and precious thing. Organized people may have a standing date night, but that's something we haven't quite managed yet. On the rare occasion when Monkey Sr. and I get a chance to go on a "date," it's usually pretty memorable. I think Miss Mina is proof of that. But, I digress.

In July, we tried to go out and see Fantasia on Broadway. Fate conspired against us, but we did enjoy an amazing meal at the Fig and Olive. It was wonderful. We ate, we drank, we talked. Like adults. No time outs. No spilled beverages. No pleadings to "try one bite." A quiet civilized conversation. It was bliss.



July 2007, random shot captured, the monkeys hug.

I make fun of my kids constantly. Behind their back, I laugh at their ridiculous little idiosyncrasies, the funny things they said or did that day. I also bemoan their constant sibling battles and bruises, and pray that one day they will learn to love each other. Sometimes, they surprise me, and actually act like they do. I managed to grab my camera in time to capture such a moment for posterity, and felt my heart flutter for just one second. They actually look like they like each other!



July 2007 Mina's birthday.

July also marked Miss Mina's first birthday. Does every mother marvel at how fast those first twelve months go by? Do they pass even faster when you have more than one child? It felt that way. One minute I was bringing her home from the hospital, holding her close to me in the middle of the night, and the next, I was sitting her up in a chair with a huge chocolate cake in front of her. One minute she was this tiny little bundle of sleeping softness, and the next - she was this spitfire of energy and personality, bursting into a room with squeals and smiles.



Nikki in Chicago.

Shortly after Mina's big birthday, we travelled to Chicago to give a presentation at the organ donor organization responsible for coordinating Jordan's transplant. While there, we got a chance to spend some time with Nikki again, and it was the highlight of the trip. A new baby, a new husband, and a bright smile were just a few of the beautiful sights I got to see. It was the first time the monkeys had ever stayed in a hotel, and they aren't the most adaptable of creatures. But seeing Nikki again made it all worth it.





August 2007, after Julia's birthday party. Mina's chocolate face.

That day in August was memorable for us for many reasons. One of them was the fact that we had no serviceable water. A freak lightning storm took out the water treatment plan in the area. The next day, we listened to news reports warning us to boil all water before using it. Did my kids notice? No. They gorged themselves on chocolate cake and laughed like loons as I bathed them in the kitchen sink using a pot of boiled and cooled water. Sometimes it's as easy as you let it be.





September 2007, Jordan starts school.

God. What can I say? I looked back on the posts I wrote during this time, and came to the conclusion that this was my favorite blog post of the year. It basically sums up the dual competing schizophrenia that is my brand of parenting. I said it best, at the time.




September 2007 - the pool at the Outer Banks.

I look forward to this time all year long. We plan, we discuss, I think about how the air feels on my skin in the early morning hours. And each year, we manage to capture some of the most beautiful pictures of the kids there in the splashed golden Southern light. This is one of my favorite places ever.

October 2007 - Halloween



I love Halloween. I LOVE it. It is my favorite holiday of the year, and I celebrate it with all the pageantry of a royal wedding. The minute the calendar says October, I am in full Halloween mode. We have Halloween playdates, we bake Halloween cupcakes, I fuss over costumes and candy, and decorating, and Halloween cartoons on tv. And my kids are going to love it too, dammit.

November 2007 - the family reunion



It was a long time in the making, but the family gathered from near and far and enjoyed a Thanksgiving together in Arizona. Little Monkey was sick, and we had an unexpected detour to the local children's hospital. Despite that, the kids rallied and had a great time. We ate, we mingled, we spa -ed.



Oh yeah. And in the course of entertaining the monkeys, I stumbled upon my old nemesis. Galaga. This model was a hybrid Galaga/Ms. Pacman model. But I was not distracted. It was Galaga or nothing for me baby. After this, I lost my mind, and have no idea what happened for awhile. I think Monkey Sr. took over the childcare. I dunno. Did I ever mention I was a Galaga fiend? A high scorer? That somewhere in some warehouse, there is a Galaga machine with my initials as THE NUMBER ONE HIGH SCORER? God, I love this game. If I had an unlimited amount of money and square footage, and no kids to keep an eye on, I would buy one of these full size machines and install it in my bedroom.



I did manage to tear myself away from Galago long enough to appreciate the trip taken by my brother, Osman and his wife Dallice. They drove all the way from Colorado to visit with us while we were in Arizona. Spending time with them was such a treat.


December 2007






And then, suddenly, it was December. The year was quickly drawing to a close in the frenzy of parties, presents and holiday festivities.

WHEW!!

Am I done? No.

What I'm looking forward to in 2008. I can't name everything, and I'm suspicious enough to avoid tempting fate by saying too much. There are a few things that I am eagerly awaiting.

Becoming an aunt.

Seeing old friends and a mini vacation solo in Georgia,

Jordan turning three

Mina turning two.

Becoming a better woman, mother, wife, daughter, sister, writer, cook, crafter, photographer, and friend.

Happy New Year everyone! Be safe. Be joyous! I hope the new year brings you all the blessings of family, good health, and much love.

Sadaf

Labels: two monkeys, year in review

Former Prime Minister of Pakistan, Benazir Bhutto was assassinated on Thursday as she concluded an appearance at a political rally held in advance of the upcoming January elections. According to most reports, she was shot in the neck by a suicide bomber, who detonated his bomb and managed to kill 15 other people in the process.

I've been following the story all morning, one ear tuned to the BBC, the other trying to ignore the pitter patter of monkey feet and voiced demanding attention. Motherhood has a way of detracting one from too-deep political introspection. But every so often, something happens on the stage of world events that captures my attention long enough for me to look away from the Dora videos and coloring books.

As a first generation Pakistani-American, I've always had one eye turned towards events "back home," as my parents like to say. I don't refer to Pakistan that way, because my home is America. I'm an American. I was born and raised here, and am proud of this country, my country, despite its flaws - both real and perceived.

But I am also proud of the possibilities that Pakistan embodied from its inception. I know its deeply flawed history, and its fifty plus years of triumphs and failures. It's been a long time since I have been there, but I still remember first hand the deep divide that exists between those who have, and those who do not. But I also remember beautiful things, people and places that defy description.

Benazir Bhutto was the first democratically elected female prime minister of an Islamic country. And Pakistan was the country in which this happened. Twice. Her tenure was wrought with charges of pandering and corruption. I have yet to figure out what if anything she actually did to better the lives of the average woman in Pakistan, but the fact remains that she represented something tangible for those of us who still hold out hope that democracy and the rule of law can exist in the world.

I don't know why I continue to hope this way. People who criticize the state of democracy in the U.S. need only look at places like Pakistan. That is a country where people have something to rightly complain about. Military dictatorships. Tribal justice. Humanitarian abuses. Spend some time over there, and then contrast it with the relatively smooth transitions in government we have over here.

Anyway. Enough politics. On a personal note, my parents are planning to visit Pakistan in the next few days to see family. We shall keep them in our prayers for a safe trip and an uneventful vacation.

Gluttony...



Envy...



Vanity...



Greed..



Wrath..



Sloth...

I think the only thing we've missed is lust...what can I say. We're parents. Those days are over.

Six out of seven's pretty good, right? The sheer gluttony displayed this week alone is making me pretty repentant.

Labels: holidays, winter

try Japanese animation. I'm almost tempted to put this on the big screen and park Jordan in front of it, just to film his reaction.

A quick update - I had eye surgery on Tuesday, and all went well. Thanks everyone for your well wishes. I can't believe how amazing it is to see without the aid of glasses or contacts!

Now. Back to our regularly scheduled programming:



Both monkeys are in full quarantine mode in an effort to avoid any further colds for the time being. After two consecutive months of colds, fevers, ear infections, and ten-day rounds of antibiotics, Jordan's doctor finally suggested pulling him out of school for two weeks to have a chance to heal completely and avoid any more sick kids for the time being. His thinking is his body needs a break from the non-stop onslaught he's faced this season.

So, here we are. One perfectly healthy, highly energetic kid, stuck at home for two weeks with nothing to do. His expression does not fully capture the groans of despair I have been making.

How are we occupying our time?



The Monkey has taken up smoking - a habit I would highly discourage any of you from pursuing yourself or for your own kids. This ridiculous bubble pipe has become the bane of my existence. Every morning when he wakes up, it is the first thing he demands be brought to him. Like a typical tyrant, he doesn't bother with the niggling details of organization. As in "Where did you put the bubble pipe, Jordan?"
Such trivia means nothing.



Poor Miss Mina, who is suffering social isolation by proxy, has taken up more constructive habits. Here, she teaches herself pan flute playing.



She's getting pretty good. She should be ready for NPR's evening music hour any day now.

When Jordan's not busy sucking on the crack pipe, he's amusing himself with Monkey Sr.'s old camera. He's finally figured out how the thing works. Here's a few highlights:

I call this series, "The many expressions of Dada"



Happy.



Sad. (I look awful back there. Ignore that. I'll teach Jordan adobe photoshop next).



Blah!



Gluttonous.

In looking through the pictures he took, I was kind of amused to see the world literally through his toddler lens. It provided some perspective on things. For example:



We really are food pushers in this house.



And boy, do I drink a lot of coffee in the morning.



Oscar's typical greeting is really odd.



But the front view is not much better.



I see he's inherited the car fascination gene from my side of the family.



As well as the maternal adoration of shoes.

But once the camera battery dies out, we have to kill time in other ways. Our stand by is usually arts and crafts. Last night, I broke out the glitter glue and felt and dang...the monkey went to town. Love of glitter and sparkly things also comes from my side of the family.



You can never have too much glitter, when constructing a model of the solar system.



Monkey's version was a little more abstract.



Mine was pretty traditional.

Two weeks. Two more weeks....



Yeah, my thoughts exactly. I might have to invest in my own bubble pipe.

Labels: two monkeys, winter

soap...poisoning!

Sorry, could not resist. Monkey wearing my shades bears a passing resemblance to Ralphie, no?

What's up with the glasses? Well, I'm finally going under the knife and getting it done. By this time on Tuesday, I may actually be able to see without the use of glasses or contacts. That's right. I'm having lasik eye surgery.

Ooh...I just shuddered for a minute. I'm not a squeamish person by nature, but messing about with my eyes does make me slightly nervous. I keep telling myself it will be worth it. No more stumbling about in the middle of the night to find my glasses when one of the monkeys wakes up screaming. No more mucking about with contact lenses, solutions, sticking bits of plastic in my eyes to improve my vision.




I had a check up on Friday to make sure I'd be ready for the surgery on Tuesday. They dilated my eyes. How nice of them to supply me with these sunglasses upon departing the office. We call them my Terminator shades. Hasta la vista, baby.

Yeah, the picture's blurry. But that's basically what my vision has been like for the last twenty plus years. Monkey Sr. was helpful enough to bring me to the appointment, and to snap this pic for posterity. He always knows how to make himself useful.

Labels: mommy time

For getting sick.

Again.

If there's a lull in posts on this blog, it's a sure bet one or more of the monkeys in the house is sick. Such is the case this week, again, as Little Monkey battles yet another round of colds, fever and ear infections. This is the third one in as many weeks. We are not happy campers.



The good news is that none of this is the type of fear-inducing stuff one worries about with a heart-transplant kid. It's just normal, run of the mill kiddie viruses that are a regular rite of passage for every preschooler in America. It's no fun, but it's routine. So, let's embrace normalcy and cheer that the Monkey is battling the petri dish of preschool with full effect.

Of course, when he has a fever, he stays home. So, how to keep a cranky toddler occupied during the seemingly endless waking hours? Of course there's tv. And contrary to what some of my friends mistakenly think about me - I am a HUGE fan of tv babysitting. We tivo our favorite junk tv for the kids, and thank God for it. Couch time is a sacred time.

But, there's only so much of that I can tolerate, and then it's time to do something else. We're big fans of arts and crafts in this house. One of my recent favorite discoveries is this site. Here we got the idea to give a little something back to nature and make a craft that makes the wildlife happy.

Ours didn't turn out as pretty, but the squirrels are loving it. I would have hung it from the tree branch, but I'm too short. Bah.



Day three of being at home, and today we tackled the project known as "Holiday Baking." We're lucky enough to have a few neighbors who actually seem to like us, and help us out from time to time. There's the ones who pull in our trash bins when we aren't home, the guy who insists on blowing the leaves off our lawn every other day, the ones down the block we only recently met because their son goes to school with Jordan...etc. This year, I thought the monkeys could help me bake them some holiday treats and generate some neighborly good will in the process.

Helping consisted of testing the cookies.

I made Grandma H's famous oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, and my favorite non-chocolate cookie - a basic sugar coated gingersnap.



We put them in pretty tins, with a bow and a little handmade card.



And if it ever stops sleeting, raining, and snowing outside, I'll deliver them. But right now, the monkeys are napping, and I am enjoying a rare moment of peace and quiet. The snow is piling up outside, but it's toasty warm in here...and thanks to all the cookies, it smells pretty sweet too. Sick days do have a silver lining after all.

Labels: holidays, winter

It's a busy and fun time of the year in our neck of the woods. With so much celebrating to do this month, there have been plenty of activities to keep the monkeys occupied.



The tree is blazing...



The candles are sparkling..



And we even have some new holiday couture in which to celebrate properly. An office party is not complete without the right party dress. Thanks Grace!



Monkey Sr.'s office party was a lot of fun. Where else could one run freely down the hallways laughing like a loon, with a lollipop in hand? A law firm. Obviously. I hear this kind of behavior is considered the norm.



Miss Mina discovered the balloon guy, and wields her flower stem like a jedi light saber. May the force be with you Beanie, always.



Jordan slipped away for a few minutes to marvel at the lights of Times Square shining below.



Somehow Bunny made it to the party. Wherever Miss Mina goes, Bunny is sure to follow. Both my children have an unhealthy obsession with their favorite stuffed animals. Jordan's is a limited edition stuffed cow, aptly named Mr. Moo. Although he was produced in small quantities by Kohl's, as part of their Kohl's for Kids program, and then discontinued, I did score a few replacement Moos off Ebay. I routinely switch his moos so the wear and tear is evenly distributed.

However, to date, this Bunny is the only Bunny I have for Mina. Other bunnies I have tried to sneak into her crib have not won her affection. These lesser creatures occupy lonely corners of her bed, and serve only to buffer her head from the crib railings.

At the rate Bunny is travelling, he is not long for this world.



No weekend would be complete without a good playdate. Here the two princesses compete in the very dainty sport of car racing. Thanks for coming to visit Angelique! We had so much fun! And where can I find a coat like yours in my size?



Since we're also savoring the remaining days of football season, Miss Mina and Monkey gear up for the Jets game.



Judging from her reaction, it's clear the Jets are having yet another banner year.



Busy weekends equal tired monkeys. Time for bed.

Labels: adventures, holidays, winter

Getting dressed up for the holiday card picture is not the fun activity I thought it would be.

Labels: misadventures

Our recent Thanksgiving in Arizona provided me with an opportunity to marvel at the well oiled machine that has come to be known as the "Marin-Moss reunion." How did this event come together so successfully? Some might argue it was the well stocked liquor cabinet in the hospitality suite, but I daresay there was more to it than that. Since I did absolutely nothing apart from showing up with my kids, one of whom decided to get sick and spoil the fun anyway, I thought I could at least pay tribute to those who worked so hard to make this event so nice.

Now, before I get any emails reminding me that so-and-so did this, and so-and-so did that...let me preface this tribute by saying that lots of people did a lot of unseen and unappreciated things to get this event off the ground. All of us did something..well, maybe not me..and maybe not Monkey Sr., and maybe not Jordan or Mina..but everyone else helped. Here's a few that get the gold stars.



Some people are good at organizing. And some people are titans of organizing. Luckily the family has its share of these women, and without them, this reunion would still be occurring via email. Above, Cindy takes a few precious moments to relax after all her hard work. Monkey Sr. wishes he could relax, but he is desperately trying to ignore the screaming child next to him - Miss Mina, who I chose to cut out of the picture.



Location, location, location. It's been said before many times, and is all the more true in the context of a good family reunion. You gotta pick the right spot. Thanks to Amy and company for helping in this regard. We stayed at the Scottsdale Westin-Kierland resort, which was a perfect family friendly spot. It had everything you could ask for when catering to the needs of a large group, with an equally large number of kids. There were multiple dining options, indoor kid activity centers, outdoor playgrounds, daily crafts for the kids by the pool, a gorgeous water park, a lovely golf course, a spa, courtyards to relax in, outdoor fireplaces to roast smores in the evening, and even bagpiper at sunset...quirky, but charming nonetheless.

As though this wasn't enough, Amy acted as our cruise director and put together the activity suggestions for the day - designed with both kids and adults in mind. They ranged from mornings at the local miniature train rides, to afternoons off for the ladies to spa. (I like to think of spa as a verb.)



Credit for serious legwork in scouting locations needs to be given to Audrey and Richard. Here she explains to Little Monkey why Arizona won out as the reunion destination. In addition, if you think you're a good negotiator, you need to test your wits with Audrey. Her skills were put to great use in arranging the lodging rates for the group, among other things, as well as deals on spa treatments (thank you, thank you, thank you!) From my perspective, Audrey and the west coast contingent were also the driving force in keeping the momentum going. When an event is this long in the making, it's easy to lose focus. The distractions of all the details start to build up..you start to sigh at the number of emails flying back and forth.

The whole point of a family reunion is to be with family. And emphasizing that helped make the plans a reality.



It may not seem obvious as first, but never underestimate the importance of attire for a successful family reunion. Thanks to Bunny, the whole gaggle of us sported the right commemorative t-shirts for the family picture. It ain't easy ordering clothing in such a range of sizes and colors. Look how nicely she's dressed. And Jack too. Clearly, she was a natural for the job. As though this wasn't enough, she also brought along toys for the kids which were enjoyed by all in the hospitality suite.



Ahh... the hospitality suite. You think it's enough just getting rooms for everyone? No way. You need a central location where everyone can congregate to discuss the day's plans, catch a quick bite, lounge on the couch with a drink...or cheerios, as the case may be. The hospitality suite was enjoyed by the big people (look at me back there lecturing my kids) ...



And the little people too.



If you want to plan a reunion coinciding with a major national holiday like Thanksgiving, you better get a place with big tables. Cindy and company did a great job finding restaurants for each night we stayed in Arizona. This is no small feat. We were a BIG group. I'm still feeling sorry for the poor waitstaff working the nights we descended upon the establishments. Having worked such jobs in my youth, all I can say is that tipping = good karma, people.



Finally, the most important element of a great family reunion is ....family! No, I'm kidding. Family, shmamily. The most important element of a great family reunion is a set of committed grandparents willing to babysit all those kids at night so the rest of us can go out and drink...err, I mean bond.



After seeing some of the pictures capturing their behavior while on duty, maybe committed is the right word for other reasons.

Labels: adventures, autumn, family get togethers, travelling

We got back from Arizona this week. While the rest of my neighborhood seems to be gearing up for Christmas, I'm still trying to get my act together post Thanksgiving. Oh the rush! The frantic race to get the tree up, the wreaths hung, the lights strung on the house. Suburbia is more stressful than you realize. I'm personally cheering the lazy soul down the block who still has the pumpkins sitting out on the steps. It does lend a slightly schizophrenic tinge to the 'hood...surrounded as it is by twinkly white lights to one side, and bright holly wreaths on the other...

But hey..if some people are still celebrating Halloween, I can still in good conscious reminisce about Thanksgiving. November still has a few hours left before I succumb to the next holiday's siren call.



This year, the monkey tribe ventured to Arizona to join the many members of the family for the traditional "Marin-Moss" reunion - three years in the planning.



This is the group. Take a close look at all those little kids. Now imagine mealtimes. Three times a day. For a week. Can't count them all? Let me help. There are thirteen children present.



The day after we arrived, Little Monkey developed a fever. He spent most of the vacation nursing a bad cold, cough, and ear infection. One thing I will say, if you have to go and get sick on a destination family reunion/vacation, the Westin-Kierland resort in Scottsdale Arizona is the place to be. It rocked.



What a trip it was. Despite the minor setback posed by Monkey's latest illness (damn you, preschool petri dish), I can still say (with a straight face) that it was a great reunion. Surrounded by so many loved ones as we were - we laughed, we ate, we celebrated.

And that to me, is a great way to celebrate Thanksgiving.

Labels: adventures, autumn, family get togethers, holidays, travelling