Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Must sleep soon.

They work in tandem now, so we really have to be on guard.

One cries out around midnight, the other waits about an hour or so..just long enough for us to have fallen back asleep. Despite sleeping through the night for ages now, there is something evil in the air that is causing the monkeys to revert back to infant patterns of night wakenings. I'm dying over here, but I will not go down without a fight.

Rule number one - Never show any signs of weakness. The weak ones get eaten alive.

Rule two: Never let on that you're exhausted or mentally unstable now from sleep deprivation.

Just pretend you have limitless reserves of energy available to enforce discipline and regular household rules and regulations. Because if, for just one second, they suspect you are not paying attention, they will pounce. They will shred you apart with their little bare hands and dance on your old, wrinkled thirty-something face.

Try at all cost to keep your head from banging on the table too loudly as you pass in and out of consciousness. Who needs sleep now? You kept late hours in college, right? Is this really that different? It's amazing how the effects of sleep deprivation begin to resemble intoxication. Cheaper too. Fewer empty calories. Why, it's really a wonderful thing, this waking up at all hours of the night. Why haven't we done this before?

Oh wait. We have. We've done two tours of this with our kids, and I thought we were safely in the neutral zone of regular sleep patterns.

So tired. I don't have dark circles under my eyes anymore. I have black holes that no amount of concealer will ever match.
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