Wednesday, May 07, 2008

A weed is a flower.

The monkey goes to preschool three mornings a week. Those three hours provide him with a structured learning environment and a chance to socialize with his peers. While he's gone, Mina and I get a chance to spend one-on-one time together in the same way Jordan and I used to when he was an only child.

He belongs in school now, I know that. It's good for him. But one of the things I feel slightly wistful about is that we rarely get a chance to spend that time together anymore, just the two of us. In the afternoons, it's all of us. On the weekends, it's family time.

Today, I did something different. Earlier in the week, during my morning walk with Miss Mina, I noticed that the field at the park was ablaze with "poofs." For the uninitiated, poofs are dandelions in the spore stage. Jordan has always been fascinated by them, since he first encountered them upstate. As Mina and I walked around the track, I thought how much Jordan would love to get his hands on those poofs.

It took a bit of planning, but today was his chance.

After picking him up from school, I told him I had a surprise for him. He perked up right away and listened attentively.

me: We're going to go on a special adventure. Just mommy and Jordan.

Jordan: Where we going, mommy?

me: we're going to a special field of poofs. Just for you.

When we got there, I had a moment of panic as I saw the lawn had just been mowed. Lucky for us, it was not completed yet. Someone must have decided to take a lunch break, because there was a a large swath of grass still covered with fluffy poofs.

His reaction did not disappoint.

I have my moments of doubt as a mother. There are days I wonder what it is exactly that I am doing. There are days I want to cry, particularly when people feel free to share their opinions with me letting me know that I am wasting my time, my life, my education, my career..all for the sake of sitting around "changing diapers all day." Sometimes I envy friends who have returned to work. Sometimes I picture the challenge it will be when I go back to the paid work force.

But moments like today's are what make it worthwhile. If you've been there, you know exactly what I mean.

And if you haven't ... well... what are you waiting for?
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