In two and a half months, we will be back in the US, after almost six years of living in Bermuda. As our time here on the Rock draws to a close, I can't help but reflect on what it's been like, what I've loved, what I have hated, what I am most looking forward to seeing again back home.
Our kitchen, July 2010...
People thought I was joking when I announced I was moving to Bermuda with my husband and two young kids (4 and 5 at the time.) I had gone back to work for a year, was commuting almost three hours a day, and both kids were in school full time. Jeff had accepted a position at a smaller firm in NJ and was enjoying the ease of a shorter commute with less stressful law practice. It all changed when he was offered this crazy job out in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.
I embraced the idea. In my mind, I thought of it as a wild lark, the adventure of a lifetime before we got too old to do something crazy like this again. I remembered the days of living abroad, when I was in law school, and always feeling wistful that I had waited so long to do it. There's really nothing like living in a different country and culture to give one an appreciation for how global the world has become. I wanted that again, and I wanted a chance to do it as an adult, with my kids before they got too entrenched in the US school system.
I was also sick of this.
When we moved, I had two kids. They looked like this.
Now, they look like this.
Oh, and this one showed up...
Jeff always says, "It doesn't matter where we are or where we live, our home is where you guys are." He's very good like that. It probably explains why we have been together for 23 years. He's grounded.
I'm a bit different though. As much as these years have been amazing, eye-opening, fabulous, beautiful, heart wrenching , exhausting, serene, infuriating, tiresome, lovely, grand, lush, warm, beachy, sunset-y, relaxing, incomprehensible...
all of it. The good and the bad. The wonderful, the worst..
I've never believed this was my home. I've always missed my real home..
A few more sleeps, as they say ... and we will be on our way..
At 18 months -
He says: mama, dada, papa, moon, key (which refers to the object, to Mickey Mouse and to cookies), car (also the object but the last syllable of Oscar's name), bird, ga, up, da, baba, juice, broom, gigi (binkie), boo (his bear cuddly), socks, shoe, Minnie, boom, vac (vacuum), baa (sheep).
He walks up the stairs, walks down with help, tries to put on socks, climbs onto furniture, scoots off, pushes himself on cars, kicks a ball, high fives, gives fist bumps ("boom!"), points, waves, does some self feeding, starting to use crayon and markers, will put things into the sink, helps unload silverware from the washer, feeds Oscar treats.
He likes;
Mickey Mouse clubhouse (especially Pete,) being read to, cookies, giving fist bumps, broccoli, asparagus, dessert, chocolate chips, dried cranberries, cheerios, black beans, chick peas, goldfish crackers, all the Leslie Petricelli board books, wagon rides, baby gym, kindermusic, playing with the shopkins in Jordan and Mina's rooms, sitting on the potty but not actually doing anything, and only if I sit on the toilet next to him (I know.. I know.. if he wasn't the third kid, I'd be worried too, but at this point, I am totally laid back mom now.) bath time, the beach, the ocean.
Not a big fan:
diaper changes, bed time, being by himself, entertaining himself, being without another human being right next to him at ALL times. He is a wee bit clingy. Thank goodness he is cute.
First haircut.
Random cuteness.
Sweeping, then steam vacuuming (kid loves watching me clean.)
Sneaking into Jordan's room after drop off so he can play with his stuff.
In just a few months, we will be back in the US, and re acclimating to life in the states. I'm trying to picture it. We have lived in Bermuda for over five and a half years now. I always knew we would return to the US, and I've looked forward to it. It's watching the process unfold that makes me pause. I can't wait to move back. I've missed it so much. I have no ambivalence about it. But the process isn't that easy. There is so much to do between now and July.
Over spring break, we returned to NJ for some house hunting. You know how much fun it is to watch couples wander through homes on House Hunters or Love it Or List It? It's not that much fun in real life with kids in tow or where your budget basically gets you the equivalent of Snoopy's dog house. It's also different when you have a house of your own that must be sold, and it needs work before you can put it on the market. Technology has improved over the years, so it's easier to view houses online and get a good feel for them before you go out to look at them in person. That helps a lot since flying back and forth from BDA to the US to look at houses as a whole family is cost prohibitive.
Thankfully, on this trip, Grandma H and Michael took over kid duty, and left Jeff and I some solo time to look at homes, reinstate our state driver's licenses, and debate the pros and cons of mid century modern vs Victorian home ownership.
Unfortunately, this round didn't reveal the droids we were looking for. Last week's solo trip on my end didn't either. But, we have hooked up with a fantastic agent, who was vetted by my own real estate mogul brother no less. She's been very helpful thus far, and I hope she will bear with us as we forge the path of home ownership again.
After exhausting the list of homes available to see, we decided the kids needed a break. New Jersey is a wonderful place for kids, as I knew from the years we spent living there, when I was deep in the trenches of motherhood. With two kids under the age of two, we spent a lot of time in the parks. Van Saun was a favorite. They have renovated significantly, over the years. None of that matters to a gymnast though.
He saw toadstool seats and decided it was time for a spin.
Kids U. was another popular place for us. Back it the day, I took Jordan and then Mina to mommy and me classes. Maybe I'm feeling overly nostalgic. It was also the home of the infamous telephone in the toilet incident. Mommies are not allowed to go to the bathroom during gym class, even if their daughter is left in the care of her teacher. If mommy departs, it must mean it is time to start banging on the bathroom door, which results in mommy darting up, phone falling out of the back pockets of mommy's oversize corduroy Costco pants, and falling into the toilet.
Kids U is also great because it had a huge play quad that you could use whenever. We revisited it this time with Theo, who had a blast.
Spending some time in the Poconos over Easter. The chilly weather encouraged the Easter bunny to hide the eggs somewhere warm... like the playroom.
I got to enjoy my birthday over the break as well. We had a lovely family dinner at Trattoria 903.
Theo didn't disgrace himself too badly. There may still be some hope of taking him out to eat with us in the future (fingers crossed.)
Grandma and Michael got a Chocolate cake to rival all chocolate cakes for a lifetime.
Jeff and I also did some solo celebrating at the Mermaid Oyster Bar in NYC.
And we enjoyed Aperol Spritz toasts for an evening of solitude at the Battery Park Ritz Carlton, kid free.
Between time spent with family and seeing good friends in our old town, I felt the week was supremely successful, even though we couldn't find the right house. I vaguely remember when we purchased our first home. I still can't exactly recall how we wound up in the town we did, or how long it took us to find the right home. I remember loving the house and wishing it was in our budget. Back in 2006, pretty much everything was overpriced thanks to the housing bubble. So, with this next move, I really wish it could be our last one - one to settle into our final house, the forever home.
We are going on six years now since we moved to Bermuda; and somehow during that time, this guy turned 11.
This was what Jordan looked like when we first moved here. November 2010. At the playground at Somersfield Academy.
And now: January 17, 2016.
How did that happen again?
To celebrate, we had a full weekend of festivities. Grandmas Helene and Grandpa Michael joined us again from New York. This makes their 12th visit to Bermuda!
Ice cream is yummy! So is the birthday breakfast brunch at Bouchee! Thanks for the special treat, Helene and Michael.
Jordan had a birthday movie party at the Specialty Cinema in town. We watched the first episode of Star Wars - IV, "A New Hope." Big thanks to Ana, who handled the booking. After some miscommunication regarding party times, she contacted me later and adjusted the price of the party to reflect the mistake. I never asked her to, she just offered. I love recognizing great customer service like that. The staff at the cinema the day of also should be commended for keeping their cool and carrying on during the onslaught of 15 boys.
Oh look - there they are.
Group shot.
Jeff was the welcoming wagon:
shenanigans.
The Star Wars cake, courtesy of The Marketplace. They did a great job, and given Bermuda prices, it wasn't that expensive.
Loads of presents from his friends.
That evening, we went out to dinner at Portofino - a family favorite. Jordan was serenaded by the waiters, who delight in calling him various names. It's usually Pasquale.. this evening they chose Miguel. They also know he is a huge fan of the Parmesan cheese. When the waiter comes by with it for the table, he heads to Jordan first.
Their desserts also don't disappoint.
This guy was allowed to leave the confines of his cage for a little while as well. Look how nicely he is buttering his bread. That lasted for about 30 seconds. And then he was a disaster. He's not the best age for restaurants yet, but we try in limited doses. Portofino is fabulously accommodating on that front.
The next night was a Monday, and the actual date of Jordan's birth, but he had gymnastics after school. He doesn't get home till after 8, but we all waited to eat with him (well, except Theo..) A cheese plate and wine helped tide over the grownups until we feasted later.
First there was steak. Then there was cake.
I made a two layer chocolate cake and covered it with sprinkles.
He loved it.
Hard to believe that our time here is now marked in terms of "this will be the last time.." But it's true. I'm fairly certain this will be the last time we will be celebrating Jordan's birthday in Bermuda in January!
Before we head into his doctor's office tomorrow for his 15 month check up and vaccinations, I thought I'd try and remember everything the little guy has been up to.
Theo is walking around quite well and tries to run now. He can climb up onto things and climb down from the couch and bed. (He's also managed to throw himself over the crib railing, but that was my fault for not putting it all the way up. He landed on his butt though, which is quite properly chunky, so no harm done. Bad mommy.)
He's trying to dress himself in little ways - like holding up his socks or shoes and trying to fit his foot into them.
He loves going outside. The swingset and slide in the backyard get a lot of use, despite their relatively deteriorated state. The baby wagon we got as a gift for the other two years ago is seeing new use again, as Jordan loves to give Theo wagon rides (and half the other little kids in the complex.)
He knows when it's time to drop off Mina and Jordan to school and starts heading up the stairs; and in the afternoon, I will say, "It's time to go pick up the big kids!" He gets so excited. If I ask him, "Where are your shoes? Go get them, and we can go." He will wander over to the shoe cubby and bring back a pair of his shoes.
It's reassuring to know he understands everything we say to him, because he isn't saying much yet. He will shake his head, no, to indicate his displeasure with something (Time for nap? Lots of head shaking no.) But not a lot of words. That's sort of odd, as I recall Jordan and Mina babbling on endlessly and Mina having full conversations with people at a very early age.
Theo can say "up," "baba," "ga (meaning go,) "dada," "mama" and some sound that is like "dah" to mean downstairs, where the basement playroom is.
I know, you can't compare. Of course we do though.
That's what parents do - whether they are comparing their own kids with each other or one kid to a stranger's. (I do that too.) Theo goes to baby gym every week and loves it. I on the other hand sometimes wonder why he isn't doing x, y or z. I don't notice too many kids Theo's age talking either.
This comparison issue is one more reason I refuse to join organized mommy play groups. I am just over that stage in my life where new moms dissect their kid's milestones with each other ad nauseum. Yes, your 15 month old knows his letters.. congrats. Mine is still just babbling, and I refuse to stress about it yet.
(Sorry if you are a new first time mom. I'm old and cranky, I admit it. Please join mommy groups if you want to. I did when I was younger and I am still friends with some of the women. But when you are my age, you just don't want to hear a young whippersnapper waxing eloquent on the joys of babywearing or breast feeding until the kids are driving or whatever new fad is making the rounds. Older, tired moms like me just want to get through the day, keep their kids alive, fed, educated and independent enough to learn how to pour a glass of wine for their elders at dinner. Yes, on that front, BTW. Go, Mina! Parenting win. )
I will pause long enough to note that Theo is amazing. Every time I take him to the store, inevitably someone will comment on what a happy baby he is. I don't want to jinx it, but he seems like a pretty content little guy. I was worried the stomach scare he had back in August would affect him, but he seems to have gotten over it. Maybe third kids know they have to be cute in order to survive.
We've had to play around a bit with his diet, as too much milk was constipating him. He eats pretty much everything though, or will at least try it. When he doesn't like something (lately that seems to be most proteins) he will get this look on his face and push the food out of his mouth.
I've learned my lesson from Jordan though. I am not sweating it. He eats what I'm serving or he just goes to bed. There will be choices, but unless the meal I'm making is too spicy, I don't make a lot of alternative dishes. His current favorites are anything pasta, asparagus, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, soups, cheese, yogurt, strawberries, raspberries, pear, grapes. I was impressed he handled tofu last night that was cooked in an Asian sweet and sour soup. But who knows, a week from now he may hate it.
The big kids really get a kick out of him too, especially when he's in performing mood. At meal times, we try to talk to him and get him to point out his eyes, nose, mouth, belly. He can wave and give high fives now. He's also just learning how to "blow kisses." His version is a little odd, but Jordan took a little video of it the other night.
He sleeps great, although he is an early riser. He does one to two naps a day depending on what time he wakes up and whether there are things we have to do that day. We are pretty much using sippy cups all the time now, as opposed to bottles, and he is trying to feed himself a lot (messy!)
He loves to share. That just kills me. He will take a bite of something then hand it out to me or Jeff or the kids and say, "ygum?" I can't tell if he means, "yum," as I am always saying, "yummy"" to him as I feed him. The way he intones it as a question though makes me laugh.
Other random stuff - he's a tall one. Another feature that's different than Jordan or Mina. He's recently gotten into being read to, and will drag his favorite books over to me to read to him. He's definitely more physical, in terms of trying to do things. He's more adventurous, and thus less cautious about risks (throwing himself out the crib, leaping off the steps in the front of the house.) He gets very attached, and will cry when someone he loves leaves him - thus making school drop off every morning so much fun. He's got almost all his teeth!! Including molars? How is that possible@? Unfortunately, he's prone to biting, which may be to alleviate the pain in his gums. I'm working on getting that to stop, but he's resisting. He still has a noticeable bilateral inversion of his feet. Imagine a ballet dancer's feet turned outwards. He doesn't seem bothered by it, and at his last check up his doctor said it would correct itself. It hasn't yet though.
Not looking forward to the shots tomorrow but I'm glad to be able to go in and talk to his pediatrician here on the island. She's wonderful, and I'm curious what she things about Theo's progress.
At 14 months, Theo is finally walking from room to room. This video captures him taking steps across the basement, stumbling, but correcting himself enough to land in heap next to me.
