Double - fisted sugar highs

also known as the company Christmas party. Wherein I get the kids dressed up and they pretend they've been good all year.



Look at him practicing the "I've been so good!" look. And yet, there's another cupcake in his hand.



The party is so sweet. Apart from all the treats and food, there's crafts, face-painting, small mechanical rides for the little ones, and even Santa makes an appearance and gives all the kids a present. The planners always do a great job putting this together; I'm always impressed.

Of course being the wicked soul I am, I pictured Santa handing out the bonuses to the employees in thin envelopes and started chuckling to myself. Now that would be highly amusing, in a Griswold Christmas kind of way. Jam, anyone?

I love that movie. Especially the part where his brother-in-law kidnaps his boss, and also the scene with Clark trapped in the attic, head wrapped in a Gloria Swanson style turban, watching family movies on the projector.

Note - I am not condoning employer kidnapping in any way whatsoever. Bad Clark! Bad Clark!



It's amazing how convincing this kid can be.



Mina, being who she is, felt the need to cuddle and groom Santa's beard first.



Gifts galore!

A day in the life.

Today was my last day at work. So, I thought, why not present a pictorial snapshot of what it looks like? Minus the unruly lawyers, delinquent children, and dysfunctional families? Oh, and the part where I actually work. No one really wants to see that.

The kids also came by to visit at lunchtime because I wanted to prove to them that I actually did have a job I went to every morning.



Point A. Leonia, NJ. Out the door, walking to the bus stop. Notice how bright and sunny it is. That's because I'm late. It's also because it's summer. Come November, it's pitch black out. It's also pitch black out when I return.



On the bus. I can't really complain about the bus. We happen to be very lucky in that we live relatively close to the bus stop. The bus runs express all morning till 10:00, and it's a lot easier than trying to drive in. Especially since I fall asleep within fifteen minutes. Try doing that in a minivan going over the Brooklyn Bridge! Wait.. I think it's been done.



Pulling into Port Authority. This is usually about the point when I wake up. Once upon a time, Jeff and I used to ride the bus in together (awww..) and he would wake me up. Now, I wait for the sound of the bus driver making the announcement. I wipe the drool off my chin and apologize to my seat companion, who I most likely have been resting my head upon the whole way. It's ok. We're all real friendly in Jersey.



The escalator at Port authority. By this point, I am usually awake, and am usually making a mad dash down the stairs to catch the A train underground.



Yeah, the picture is blurry. Which is an accurate reflection of how I perceive things at this hour.



Notes from the underground world. This picture does not do justice to the smell, the heat in the summer, or the cold in the winter. I also couldn't really take pictures of the half dozen wackadoos that make the city such an interesting place to live, and who conveniently choose to share my commute with me. I did not take their pictures because I have lived here long enough to know that a camera in their face is an open invitation to kill/rob/toss me off the platform.



Jay Street/Boro Hall. Brooklyn. My stop. The new and improved Kings County Family and Supreme Court. This building is amazing. I say that as a veteran of the old Family Court which used to be located a block away. I am going to miss this place.



My office. I've stripped it pretty clean of decoration, since I needed to pack everything up today. But this can give you an edited idea.



And here's what I'm really thinking.



I kept the back wall pictures up because I wanted to make sure the kids knew I did not throw out their artwork. I actually do save it. It covered most of this wall, as well as my conference room downstairs.



Here's the courtroom where I worked. I've provided a handy guide to show you where the key players sit. I think someone should make a diagram like this for the poor souls who wander in on a daily basis and have no idea who everyone is milling about.



Normally, I bring my lunch to work in an effort to stay healthy and save money. Today however, was all about celebrating. After I showed the kids around, we headed downtown to Pete's Waterfront Alehouse to meet up with another Family Court veteran. Jeff almost had a heart attack when she called ahead and told us she thought the place was closed. Jeff, who went to law school nearby, spent many a study hour nestled within the confines of these cozy chairs. Thankfully, it was not closed. This place has survived multiple recessions, 9/11, and bad 80's mullets (come in and take a look at the picture on the side wall). Nothing is shutting this oasis down.

After lunch... we packed the kids up, grabbed my boxes from work. and I said my final good byes. Wow, this was a short stint back at work. I really am going to miss the job, but I hope our next adventure will be an equally exciting one.

Next stop - finding a house!!

How could I not miss working here?

Now what? Indeed.

Star of the week - the Double Feature.

Since going back to work, I've realized that two kids in school means twice the parent focused activities, and thus twice the amount of time I need to take off from work. Not easy at this point. I don't have the kind of caseload where I can drop everything and come in for school activities easily. It's also and hour and half commute between work and home. So, I have to schedule things months in advance. Which is fine - but it requires thinking ahead. It's moments like this that I miss being home full time. It made parent participation in school simpler.

With that in mind, I'm trying to consolidate key things into one day where possible. It helps having teachers who get it, and do their best to accommodate the schedules of two parents.

Presenting... Star of the Week, round one and two. Followed shortly thereafter by back to back parent teacher conferences. Jeff and I pretty much spent the day at the school.



With cupcakes. Of course.

(Mini cupcakes, piped Dunkin' Hines chocolate frosting, Cadbury mini eggs - so I could get them out of the house and stop EATING THEM!!, and some little stars for decoration.) Nope, nothing subtle or healthy here. But, Jeff and I made them together, so that earned some points in my book.



Times two.



And some blackberry crumble bars for the hardworking teachers who were willing to help us. I love this recipe. Thank you, Martha.



We did some reading. Mina chose The Runaway Bunny. And for Jordan's class, Jeff read, Harry, the Dirty Dog. And we answered about a dozen questions from the students per class. And comments. There were lots of comments.



Times two.



Some cupcake eating...



Twice...which is why "mini" is a good thing.



A family shot. Complete with a little bit of jealousy, ala Jordan. (Mina had her star of the week in the morning, and it took him a little while to understand that his star of the week performance would be later that afternoon. Ahhh... jealousy.)



And another..

What I liked about Jordan's class this year, was the way the teacher used a star of the week poster, that Jordan filled out in advance. She printed it out herself on a large poster sheet, and included categories like "Things I like," "Picture of me," "Picture of my Family," and lined spaces to fill in wishes, and places you'd like to go.

I saw an example on Amazon.



Jordan had fun filling it out earlier in the week, and it gave us a chance to do something together relating to the day.



And while Jeff and I did the parent teacher conferences , the kids played in the school yard under the watchful eye of Grandma.



And Mina demonstrated that there is a ladylike way to play in the sandbox in full dress.

office art.

I was pleasantly surprised to learn that my job came with a real office, instead of a cubicle.

However, five months into it, I still haven't had time to decorate the walls.

But the corkboard at my desk is pretty full.

Like moving a beach... one grain of sand at a time.

That's what today's CLE (continuing legal education) felt like. For those lucky enough to not know what I'm talking about, it's a mandatory update for attorneys to keep their wealth of legal knowledge current.

Just in case you forget how to use the computer to look up laws and cases online.

I've been out of the workforce for almost five years. During that time, the world of electronic distractions has exploded exponentially. Once upon a time we used to amuse ourselves at these things by passing notes back and forth, reading the paper, or other magazines, or sneaking out for a snack after signing in. People used to smoke more too.

But now, thanks to smartphones, laptops and electronic readers, no one ever has to pay attention to any speaker at any conference or meeting again. As my brother put it today, while we conversed via FaceBook (hereinafter FB):

"Good thing for smartphones, eh? Everybody in a conference room, heads bowed in reverent blackberry prayer."

It's true. Except for the old timers. They're the only ones looking up at the speaker. But before we congratulate them, I looked up long enough to note that some were knitting. Yes, I said knitting. And some were still reading the old standby,

The New York Times.

None of this is any big mystery. I'm hardly breaking any confidences by revealing that more than half the audience there was busy doing other things. The woman in the row in front of me was multitasking in a very pro-Martha way. She was writing out thank you cards.

I did look up long enough to note the names of important cases I will have to look up later (ONLINE) and read at my leisure (ie at lunch or on the subway). I also spent a significant amount of time trying to distract myself from walking out of the room to go hit the snack area. In the morning they had a huge spread of bagels, fruit, pastry, coffees and teas. They provided brown bag lunches. But there was also post-lunch coffee break with brownies and pretzels.

In an effort to stay accountable, I talked myself down from many possible diet minefields today. Part of what helped was this book I'm reading, called "Mindless Eating." The title alone pretty much describes what the last ten days of my life have been like. But other than that, it's got lovely bits of anecdotal research about the way the little bits of food we nibble here and there, without thinking about it, wind up costing us the extra pounds over the course of the year.

I also used FB to work out food issues. Here's the dialogue I had going back and forth:

me: and bagels. Why must there always be bagels at these things? They're like 12 points a piece!

EG: I've never looked at bagels the same since WW.

TR: Doesn't ripping out the insides take away the points?

MT: Wow, you must be going crazy. This is your like 3rd post in two hours!Good luck getting through your day!

me: (in reference to scooping out the insides) Right. Like that's what I want to do. Eat the crusty outside shell. The guts smeared with cream cheese is the best part. Geesh.

TR: A little outside shell is better than drooling over them. Then again, I'm just one to throw out any notion of points and eat it anyways.

me: It may just come to that. I ate breakfast hours ago, but just thinking about them laid out all pretty on that silver platter outside this room is making me salivate.

HF: I say, have half a half. You get the taste of the bagel for what, like 3 points? I never got why bagels are so bad - they are tasty deliciousness to me. Plus, being Jewish, they're my birthright. Which I think makes them half the points.

TR: That was hours ago! Think of it as a mid morning snack.

me: I keep thinking if I wait it out, the selection will be limited by the next coffee break and the cream cheese will be all dried out. Hence, I won't eat it.

AC: Sadaf, don't do it! They're from Dunkin Donuts and not delish and so not worth it!

TR: Or, you could try and guess how many people didn't wash their hands after using the bathroom and then touched the bagels.

me: Now I feel sick. Yay! Craving gone. Thanks guys!

HF: You guys are good. I may never eat a bagel again.

DS: Think of all the grubby coworkers that are touching each one before picking one.

JL: mm, germy bagels!

DS: Too many stomach viruses around to eat anything that isn't wrapped. See, that works too!

Thank God for FB, which has helped me connect with all my dear friends who love a distraction as much as I.

After CLE, I came home and hung out with my kids. We had highly stimulating conversations about the dog:



(no, Oscar does not have glaucoma or cataracts. My crappity crap, but free adobe photoshop is not taking the redeye out)



Mina: Dogs don't talk, Mom. Only seeing eye dogs.

Coming up for air.

I'm still standing. Three weeks into the new work routine; and I am still here. We're healthy, Jordan's biopsy results were good, and we're well into the school routine once again.



It's been a major adjustment going back to work. I Wake up at 5:00; with Jeff's help, I get everyone dressed and out the door, I commute an hour and fifteen minutes to work, and put in a full day. I bring lunch from home so I can work at my desk during lunch and catch up on everything I don't know and don't want to leave laying on my desk for the next day. I'm learning the ins and outs of a new job, new law, new protocols, new challenges.



I can manage all that. That's the easy part. The hard part is wondering what effect this new change is having on the kids. I'd be lying if I said it's all been wonderful. It hasn't. There have been ups and downs.



Mina seems to be adjusting well. When I come home, she runs into my arms and greets me with hugs and kisses. That is an awesome feeling. I hug her and kiss her and feel enormously grateful that she is so easy to please right now.

But Jordan doesn't do that. He stays put doing whatever he was doing before I came in. Sometimes, he's sitting at the art table writing or drawing. Sometimes he might be in the playroom building an elaborate Parthenon style structure, complete with miniature race cars stacked among the columns.

I've learned to walk over to him and put my hand on his shoulders and just stroke them till he's relaxed around me. And then I let him warm up to me. It hurt at first seeing him ignore me when I came home. I finally got to hear his explanation one night last week, and then it all made sense.



As we watched Ariel the mermaid in "Ariel's New Beginning," I noticed he seemed very sad at a point in the movie where Ariel and her father were having a conflict. After much prompting, Jordan came over to the couch and sat next to me. I remarked how sad Ariel's father must feel when Ariel was so angry at him.

"I would feel really sad too," I said.

And then I looked at Jordan and he was starting to cry. He told me.

"I miss you Mommy."

And then we both cried.

I get Jordan. I can look at him and know exactly what he's thinking. He may look like his dad, but his emotions - he gets those from me.



There's a lot of reasons why I think I needed to get back to working outside the home. More than anything else, I think it's the right thing for us as a family down the road. I hope things will improve over time. I understand it when Jordan says he misses me. I miss them!

Over the course of the day at work, I'm generally too busy to dwell on my feelings. But from time to time, I'll notice the hour and find myself wondering what the kids are up to. It's 3:15, I'll think. Time for pick up. 3:45, time for yoga class. 6:00... I wonder what they're eating for dinner. Will they be getting dessert tonight?

At 5:00, I race out the door, sprint to the A train, sprint off at Port Authority and run up the escalator, and three flights of stairs to the 211 gate. I stand in line and stare at my Blackberry.

6:30 - I'm home. I unlock the door rush in, eager to see their faces. I think about that during the ride home. As we come out of the Lincoln Tunnel, I find myself thinking.. "I'm so close now."