Christmas in Bermuda 2014 - Embracing this Island.

When I think back to our first Christmas spent in Bermuda, in 2010, I marvel at how much has changed. I remember feeling shipwrecked that first year, unsure about moving to the island, missing favorite traditions, friends and family back home. I missed waking up in my own home on Christmas morning, the frenzy of baking and cookie swaps, the fun of seeing the kids open presents with family nearby.  I missed cooking big dinners and exchanging gifts with dear friends.  The kids' school in BDA was drastically different than what I was used to.  I didn't understand the way things were done.  I constantly fell short at meeting self imposed parental goals at school, and no matter what I did, I felt like I was speaking another language.  I was still suffering from sticker shock at the prices of things in BDA, and baffled at how to make Christmas a festive occasion for the kids when the price tags on everything were so astronomical.



I know, it's not about the gifts, of course.  But as an ex-pat, I have to admit, life is simpler in the US when it comes to a budget.  When we first moved to Bermuda, I didn't fully appreciate how much I would miss the ease of shopping at stores like Target or Costco.  I didn't realize to what extent shipping from abroad would become a necessary. I didn't understand how to budget the time involved for those things.  And I didn't understand that once something ran out of stock in the local store, you wouldn't see it again the next day.  We live on an island.  When something runs out, it takes some time to get it shipped over here ... assuming "it" is something generally stocked to begin with.

I didn't realize how jam packed the first two weeks of December would be, and how the island became strangely quiet after ... especially if you were a newcomer.  It was a wee bit lonely that first year.

Naturally, the kids wound up sick on Christmas day, thus concluding a less than auspicious start to our new life on the island.

But...

Fast forward five years and I must say, the month of December in Bermuda is one of my favorite times to be on island. I always tell people, I prefer the holiday season in Bermuda to anywhere in the US.  It's decidedly quieter, and more low key.  It's hard to describe exactly.. but it's less flashy.  While the stores may be decked out for the holiday, and the "Black Friday" tradition has made its way to this shore recently, it doesn't feel as crazy as it is in the US.  There are no massive shopping malls with people scrambling to find parking spaces.  People aren't stampeding over others to load up on flat screen tvs.  You don't feel inundated with commercials on tv telling you to buy, buy, buy...

I also love the fact that it is generally warm and sunny.  I love how small this place is and how you can't go far before seeing a friendly face. When you do, be prepared for more than the typical "Good Morning!"  Something special happens in December here. 



The hectic frenzy of a US Christmas pales in comparison to the "quiet" little life here on the island.  December on the island is a time to turn in, embrace the warmth of your loved ones, and as an ex-pat - the warmth of the new family you have created around you. 



Ultimately, of course, these guys are home. 

This is the shot I used for this year's Christmas card.  I finally got one out after a hiatus of a few years.  Having a third child inspired me.



Apart from the usual gluttony of school activities (holiday parties, school Christmas assemblies and school concerts) we also had Jordan's first overseas gymnastics meet.  Here he is heading off to Boston.  No medals, but he did fantastic competing at level 5 for the first time. 



Upon returning home, both he and Mina had music recitals.  Both kids play piano.  Mina also takes voice lessons and Jordan plays guitar.  Between the two of them, they had several bits to perform at their recital.   

I always tell them they are a team.. that a family is a team, and that we work together.  When I saw them rehearsing Silent Night, I wasn't sure it was going to happen.  Each of them could only focus on themselves.  Jordan played the keys as loud as he could, ignoring Mina's singing and tempo.  Mina compensated by singing louder and louder and losing the feeling of the song in a bid to be heard over Jordan's keyboard pounding.

Oddly enough, something happened the day of the recital.  There in the church, in front of all the parents, the kids pulled through and performed like a team.

Jordan played the piano beautifully, and accompanied Mina.. allowing her to showcase her sweet voice and sing the song gently.  She's never sang in a setting like this or used a microphone to amplify her voice. She was also the only child in the whole program who sang.

So, I thought she did very well for her first time.

 

This is the video.

I know they have a ways to go before trying out for the Voice, but believe me, I just about died from maternal pride. There is no way in "hey ya" that I would have stood up before a whole audience at 8 years old and sang a song.  No hallelujah way. 

Go Bean.



One of the things I love best about our family is that we embrace a lot of different holiday traditions. Celebrating Hanukkah is one of them. We are so lucky to be friends with another family on the island who host an annual Hanukkah party.  Last year I brought a cookie tray.

 

This year I changed it up a bit and did monogram initials for the kids.

 

The finished product.

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I also took a stab at making jelly filled fried donuts (Sufganiyot ) for the adults.  Not too bad for a first attempt.  I know they say you should never try something for the first time when you are making for a party, but I can't help myself.  I love using my friends as guinea pigs for testing new recipes.

 

Naturally, we did our annual cookie trays for our neighbor friends as well.  The kids helped. 

Guess which ones they made?



Another one of the highlights of recent holiday traditions has been watching Mina perform with her school choir.  This is her cozying up by the fireplace at the Coral Beach Club, where she and her school choir performed an evening of Christmas carols.

I really love this beach club.  It is situated on the South shore on a beautiful piece of property.  The club is decorated in what I would call Old School Bermuda charm.  Understated, but so traditional and lovely ... a cozy fire in the main room, cedar beams, shuttered doors open to allow the ocean breeze to come in, and the bar tucked into a nearby corner discretely serving the evening cocktail. Mina and the choir sang, then we enjoyed a gorgeous buffet dinner after.  The choir sat together and ate, while the "mums" had a lovely meal to ourselves, almost kid free!  Gasp! Of course we pretty much talked about our kids non stop, but what that's what moms/ mums do.

 

The Christmas tree was up, the first full weekend after Thanksgiving. Per custom, it's decorated with all the arts and crafty ornaments the kids have made over the years. I also add a new one each year that I pick out. Mina has taken to buying one each year as well at her school Christmas sale, which I love. My favorite are framed picture ornaments.  This year, tucked among the branches, is one of Theo.  This is his first Christmas at 3 months old.

 ps.. I hate those black curtains and blinds.  They came with this rental and I keep putting off buying new ones.  I am slightly mortified showing them, but this is my best shot of the tree. 

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There he is!  Theo's first Christmas.

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  Christmas morning, the big kids helped Theo raid the stockings.  If you look closely, you might notice it is still black outside the windows.  That's because the big kids decided to wake up at 5:30 in the morning.

 

We somehow managed to make it to our annual Christmas brunch at the Lido restaurant on Elbow Beach.  I love a brunch with a view. Ignore the bags under parental eyes.

 

Beach views.

 

After our meal, we enjoyed mingling with the crowds who gather each year. 
Beach days in December... who would have thought.

 

  Theo handled it with ease.



He has some big kid helpers to guide him through the process.




Lucky kid.

Lucky us.  I haven't even described the flurry of holiday parties that we were lucky to be a part of.  This kid has been dragged along to more festivities than I can remember at this point:  open houses, holiday fetes, etc..  And I have loved every minute of it!  We are so incredibly lucky to be part of such a great group of friends - both ex pats and locals. 

Maybe it's because I know there is an end date to our lives here on the island - suddenly everything is starting to be tinged with nostalgia.  Despite a rough start, this place has become such an oasis... especially during the hectic holiday season.

Hoping your holiday season has been fabulous. 

Happy New Year!!  (Our crew will be snoring away at home.. except for Theo.. he is a midnight riser.)

Three Month Theo

Theo's turned three months on December 2.

 We celebrated with more of the same - eating, sleeping, walking, reading, attempting to find a schedule, posing for pictures.. We have a very glamorous life, you see.



It's wonderful to see him wake up from that newborn baby daze and begin interacting with the world. I can say the same thing about myself. I'm finally starting to emerge from the zombie like state of the post partum haze. I could still fo with more sleep though. Once I get a full night, then I know we are back in business.



He's finally fitting into things beyond the onesies.



Not sure if he is as amused as I am about posing all the time.



Some milestones - he's been smiling for awhile, but now he's laughing too (such a joy!), he loves his hand and will try to eat that at the same time he is nursing from a bottle.  He can go 5hour stretches at night now ... (7pm-12:00) Once in awhile it might be 5 1/2.  He is getting better head control now and can roll over from belly to back.  He hates that though since he doesn't know how to roll full back, and he lays there like a little turtle on his shell.



The big kids continue to be super helpful.  Mina always chats with Theo and Jordan asks to feed him all the time.  People were right, it is nice having big kid helpers in the house.

Two Months down, 17 years and 10 months to go.

Someone hit the two month mark in November.  We are all smiles about it.



Still happy at the doctor's office, right before his first immunizations.



A little work and play time at home while the big kids are in school.



The three amigos. 

Right now, I'm still in a daze from having this baby.  He is not sleeping more than three-four hour stretches at night, so neither Jeff nor I have slept well.  I'm kind of getting used to that feeling, as much as it's possible to get used to lumbering along like the walking dead.  I've resumed drinking caffeine, so my daily coffee cup in the morning is my saving grace.

The kids have been relatively good about welcoming the newest member of the family.  Jordan has really risen to the occasion of being the big brother - entertaining Theo every morning at the breakfast table with his particular blend of wacky clown like antics.  Mina has been treating Theo at bath time with washing and picking out his outfits.  Both of them are trying to encourage story time at night, when it's possible to get Theo on some kind of rhythm.  That's the hardest part.

He has no schedule, no particular routine yet.  I'm trying, but he is going to do this his way.  We take our daily walks, our nightly baths.  I try to have him see the kids in the morning to establish a daytime/nighttime distinction. I try to follow his lead and put him down for a nap when I see him yawning or beginning to fuss from tiredness. But, he's only two months old.  It's still all up in the air.  I'm also not going to make myself crazy with this one. 

I want to enjoy my last time up at bat.

The fun things are starting to happen - he's been smiling back, making baby cooing noises, trying to repeat sounds that we make like "ooh and oooo."  That is really cute.  I love the way he stares intently at my mouth when I talk to him, or the way he gazes into my eyes while he's eating.  It's such an adoring look - the kind that unfortunately won't last long.

We spend most of the day at home, although we have some social times, here and there - walks, chats with neighbors, a rare night out at dinner.  It's nice being comfortable enough with the third that I feel no pressure to run out and join mommy groups or organized activities.  None of those are for the baby.  I used to make myself crazy with Jordan and Mina, dragging them to all kinds of things they can't even remember anymore.

Right now, it's just me and Theo.  We eat, play on the tummy time mat, read baby books, make noises at each other, take walks where I drone on about the outdoors, and practice napping.  It's such a short spell this newborn phase. 

I forgot how slow the day goes by, yet all at once - it's over.

Halloween 2014

It was my favorite time of the year ... Halloween!  It took me till the end of the month and two hurricanes later, but I finally pulled the decorating bin out and gussied up my home. 



We (i.e me) bought some pumpkins and set out carving (ok, Jeff carved) on Halloween eve.  We don't carve earlier than that because the heat, humidity, and ant assault would destroy the gourds if we did it any earlier. 



Finished products.



Last minute costuming - Jordan as the demonic chef!  For the record, he wanted to go as a "carrot."  When I looked at him blank faced, he laughed and said, "Ok, how about a kiwi?"  This is what I countered with.



Face-painting I can do.  Kiwi costuming - no.



Mina made it easier for me - Anna (Frozen) to coincide with her friend's Elsa.  Look at Jordan hugging her for the picture.  That cracked me up.



No, the makeup did not scare the baby.



Speaking of which - here he is.  My little skeletor.  Look how chunky he is getting.  Two months old, just had his doctor check up and passed with flying colors.  Look at those chins!

Jazz Hands ... and the absurdities of documenting your child's birth in BDA.

So, a month ago, I gave birth to my third child.  Since we live here in Bermuda for the time being, it made sense to just deliver him here. 

First, the baby in question.

Look!  Jazz hands!!



You know how easy it is to get a birth certificate when you deliver in a hospital in the US, right?  You pretty much leave the hospital on discharge with something in your hand.

Not here.

(We left with the baby, which is a good thing.)

Four weeks later, still no birth certificate. 

We did just get this form in the mail.  Blank for us to fill out - called "Notice of Particulars of Birth."

Take a look at it for a moment and tell me if you notice anything odd.



First, it's not a birth certificate.

Ok - no big deal.  Presumably we fill out the info and mail it to the Registrar and hopefully one day have something I can take to the American Consulate.  I hope I will secure an approval of a Notice of an American Birth Overseas, which I will then use to get the boy a passport. 

In case he ever wants to get off the island...

BUT...

Keep looking at the form above ...

Apart from the fact that we have to declare our marital legitimacy so the child isn't legally a bastard, we also get to make up our own racial color of the child.

The best part?  Wait for it...

There's nowhere for the MOTHER to sign.

Get it?

THE.  MOTHER.

I carried the boy for 40 weeks in my body, gained 30 pounds, delivered him in a burst of pain and drug-free glory.. and my signature isn't necessary.

Damn.

Apparently I lack the legal capacity to verify the birth of my child.

Oh Bermuda. 

I love you, but it's true. 

It's a whole other world over here.

ps - we debated for two days what the "racial color of the child" was.  Jeff dared me to put down any other race that would guarantee him an affirmative action boost for college application processes 18 years from now.  I told him it wouldn't matter by then since everyone will be brown like me by that point.

Such is what passes for levity in this house when no one gets any sleep.

How did I get here?

Newborn days, Iphone snippets, and what "they" say.

They say "these days" will go by so fast.

 Maybe...

Every baby is different, and we are learning about ours.

Right now, we are deep in the trenches of life with a newborn. Endless nights, long stretches of daytime, a little mouth attached to my breast, and the constant feeling of sleepiness that hazes over everything.

There are moments like this one.



I think I'm still hormonal because I want to cry when I see this. Was it really nine and a half years ago that I had Jordan? Was it that long ago that he was a tiny baby attached to machines?

And now he's a big, big brother.

When I look at Theo, I see Jordan all over again - the Jordan I thought we were going to have before all hell broke loose. That sounds odd, doesn't it?  It's not like saying it's a second chance.  Obviously we got a second chance with Jordan when he had a heart transplant. 

Looking at Theo is liking looking at a duplicate of what Jordan looked like when he was born.  It's a weird deja vu/parallel universe of what normal would have been like minus the heart issues.

Getting out and about with the baby - a stop at Jeff's office and art gallery.



They say you have to stop and smell the roses sometimes.  I caught a glimpse of the amazing photography exhibit at ACE and I had to step in.  Good thing Theo was sleeping.  This was coming on the tale end of our first morning walking in town.  Although I've been using the stroller regularly for walks in our neighborhood, I havent ventured yet into the shops along Front St. just yet.  Today was the day.

Theo did ok. Fussing a bit when the stroller stopped moving, which became a minor problem as I was checking out at the register.  But not a big deal.  It's definitely easier having gone through this before.  You don't get as fazed by the minor crying or worry so much what other people think. 



"They" love to say newborns sleep all the time.  Some certainly do.  Yet all too often, Theo fights it.  Which is why I have resorted to wearing the infamous black chador of despair, a/k/a the moby wrap.  Yards and yards of fabric envelope my midsectiona and chest - all for the purpose of instantly putting the baby into a deep sleep. 



Food coma. 

The boy is attached to my breast whenever he is not sleeping.  I can't keep up with him, and I've resorted to supplementing with both formula and expressed milk I've been pumping.  Never had this problem with Jordan or Mina, but not much else I can do when I see him crying after a full feeding.  I also like being able to share the feeding duty with Jeff, who gives him a bottle before bedtime.



Fighting sleep!



The wee twilight hours between night and day.  Little guy is always by my side in the nursery.  I'm reminded of the time it took to set it up and feel pleased that it's decorated to my taste.  To Jeff's credit, leaving the guest bed in there was a good idea.  Theo and I are camped out on it all night.

Sleep training will begin in a few weeks when he's developmentally ready.  I'm a big fan of Marc Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits" book, and used it successfully for both Jordan and Mina.  It saved our lives, and I am hoping his research will work with Theo. 

"They" say moms should nap when the baby does, which I try, but the lack of sleep at night is making my brain really fuzzy.  Not good.  They also don't have any advice for what to do when you try to sleep but your mind is racing, thinking about all the other things you have to do, or your ears are on high alert as you wait for the baby to start crying again because you've had the nerve to put him in his crib.

I don't know why he hates the crib, or the bassinet, or the baby swing, or the standing rocker.  I'm guessing it's because I'm not laying next to him with my breast in his mouth.  Jeff has suggested designing a baby product  - a synthetic breast that keeps the baby company during nap time. 

Don't steal our idea.  If I ever get some sleep I might start designing it.

Walks with Theo.

Exploring the neighborhood - Fairylands.

I spent a lot of time researching the best stroller option for us, convinced that a daily walk would be the best thing for both Theo and myself.



Doesn't he look thrilled about it?



Granted, there are speed bumps along the way - both to finding the perfect stroller.  Hint - it's the proverbial unicorn.  As well as convincing your newborn that it's better to be out walking than stuck at home attached to the breast all day.



The best part of walks is discovering new things.  Even though we've lived in this neighborhood for almost two years now, I had no idea this place existed.  It's the Butterfield Nature Preserve.  I didn't venture up the stairs into the woods with the stroller, but I'm coming back with our dog soon so I can explore further.  Aren't these mossy steps inviting?