Summer camp - Lohikan 2015.

Judging from her pictures, Mina had a great summer!  Following a very successful 9th birthday party, she headed off to camp for a full 4 weeks!  Thank goodness for pictures, or we'd have no way of knowing what she was up to!  Snail mail delivery of letters back to BDA did not work so well.

Great counselors.

Lots of outdoor, electronic free time!

So many new friends.

Girl time!

My super swimmer.

A chance to perform!

Many mom friends asked me whether I was nervous about sending Mina away for so many weeks solo.  I've realized that the idea of sleep away camp is a bit foreign for most of the ex pats here.

I never did sleep away camp as a child, but for some kids, it was a summer ritual.  Jeff recalls most of his friends in Brooklyn leaving for the summer, and I loved hearing stories Grandma H told of her summers away in camp.  For upstate kids like me, camp was our backyard, so that was the end of it! It might be a city thing.

Obviously, you have to know your own child's maturity level to assess whether they are ready for the adjustment of being away for so long.  Mina begged us let her go for the full summer, but I wasn't ready for that.  So I compromised and gave her four weeks.  This was also her second year of going to this  camp, so i felt more comfortable knowing she was in great hands.  She's also very self directed, social, and loves group activities.  In other words, camp is a perfect fit for her!

My only concerns, and they remain so, are exposing her to kids that are much older than she is, and are also very Americanized.  

Just to explain... Living here in BDA, the kids grow up with a very different sort of cultural environment.  It's really one of my favorite parts of living here - the culture of politeness and respect and innocence that exists.  It's very old school, in a sense.. The please, and thank you, and "good morning" greetings, the way children address grown ups, etc.  I'm American, and very proud of it, thank you ... but I do worry a bit that kids grow up,way too fast back home.  Here in BDA, they get to stay kids a lot longer.  It's just a very different atmosphere.

At any rate, Mina survived, and had a fantastic time.  Her counselors were like the big sisters she never had, and she loved her bunk mates.  I missed her like crazy, and I counted down the days till I could get her back.  

At the same time though, it was also a mini lesson for me in letting go.  Isn't that the hardest job as a parent - trusting that you've taught your child how to behave and why, and letting them venture out in short doses?

Summer Setback, 2015.

Unfortunately, Jordan's camp experience didn't go as planned this year. After a week at gymnastics camp, he came down with a high fever.  He complained of chills, pain and was sleeping constantly.  The camp nurses brought him to urgent care and his chest was X-rayed.  He was eventually diagnosed with pneumonia. Phone calls from the health center are not what any parent wants to get when their kid is away at camp.  It's especially hard when you aren't even in the same country.  Funny to think that last year's big health drama was a call from Mina's camp warning us that one of the bunk mates had to be treated for lice. 

Simple times.

Jeff flew out to the States early, withdrew Jordan from camp and brought him to Grandma H's to recover.

Over a few days, his fever continued, despite Tylenol and antibiotics.  The infection in his lungs remained and he got very dehydrated.  We made the decision to admit him to an ER in Pennsylvania, and he began IV fluids and new antibiotics.  Jordan's cardiac team at Columbia was in touch with the hospital to discuss testing and medication.  Jeff has been by his bedside the whole time.

A couple days later, Jordan is recovering (fingers crossed).  More tests continue to make sure the infection isn't in his bloodstream or affecting his heart or organs.  That is really scary to even think about.  His fever is down for now (fingers crossed) and Jeff says he is starting to go back to being his normal, goofy self.  See pic below once fever broke.



Jordan was supposed to be enjoying the last couple weeks of August in the same camp that Mina is in right now.  Obviously that isn't going to happen.  I emailed the camp director and asked that Jordan be withdrawn due to medical reasons.  They were understanding about it.  Jordan hasn't said too much about not getting to go, at least not yet.  I'm also not there with him, so I have no clue exactly what he's thinking.  I'm still here in Bermuda, with the baby, trying to process all of this from afar.  Traveling with the baby and trying to juggle his care while being in and out of the hospital didn't seem to make much sense at the time.

I think that's the reasoning.  I don't know.  I regret not going.  Trying to gauge how Jordan is doing based on emails, texts, phone calls and Facetime is not the same as being physically present in the same room with someone.  I'm feeling massive amounts of guilt as a mom, as well as a bit of resentment.  Who cares if it was a hassle with the baby? Why did I agree to stay home? Maybe trying to make everything run smoothly shouldn't have been a priority. I don't know why I agreed to this.  I am kicking myself. 

The other thing that's been bothering me about this situation is the feeling of let down on Jordan's behalf.  Maybe he doesn't care right now that he missed out on the rest of camp, the adventures to Hershey Park, the water slides in the lake, the bungee jumping and overnights in a tent with campfires and s'mores.  But at some point, he's going to think about it, particularly when Mina comes home and talks about what a fun summer she had.

I really wanted them both to have a fun summer.  That's why we agreed to let them go to camp again this year and for a longer period of time.  I put aside any doubts  because both of the kids have gone to camp before.  I put aside any doubts about Jordan's health because I trusted he would be well cared for.  I made the call, as I have done a million times before, to treat him like any other kid and not let being a transplant kid affect every aspect of my decision making.  I never wanted that to be the defining characteristic about him.  I just wanted him to be normal.

I keep telling myself that any kid could have come down with pneumonia at camp.  It's not just something that happens to a transplant kid.  When you make the call to treat your immune-suppressed kid like everyone else, you have to be willing to accept that shit will happen sometimes.  And then you get to second guess yourself to death.  Did I do the right thing?  Should he have stayed home?  Was it too much expecting him to be away by himself?  Was there something I should have done differently, said to his counselors before, packed warmer clothes?



Jeff sent me this picture today.  Jordan is off the IV drips and is walking around again.  His temperature is still down, but they are going to keep in the hospital one more night to observe him as they switch him to an oral antibiotic, and to see if he can keep his fluids down.  He looks incredibly big in this picture, as he sits there goofing off with a surgical mask.  I don't know how other transplant parents manage the balance of achieving a semblance of normality for their kids.  Ten and a half years later, I'm still trying to figure it out. 

We've never let Jordan's health issue dictate how he was treated when it came to basic matters.  He started preschool at two and a half, was surrounded by regular kids, exposed to all the same germs and colds they were.  He was always carted around to parties and play dates and big open pits of germ ridden balls at play zones.  He's gone to amusement parks and flies on airplanes.  In short, he's pretty much been a regular kid.

With the exception of this year (when we pulled him out of school for a week during a chicken pox scare) I don't recall any major incidents of altering normal behavior because of his immune issues.  Granted, some of my blasé attitude is because Jordan is on a very low dose of suppression.  Comparably speaking, his level of medication is minimal.  When we inform his anesthesia docs and nurses before every biopsy about his meds, they look incredulous.  Most transplant patients take a lot of meds.  Jordan has been lucky.  In so many ways.

I am going to try not to let my attitude affect Jordan's reaction to this.  If and when he decides to talk about it, I need to help him put this in perspective.  He missed some fun at camp.  That is a real bummer.  Sometimes bad things happen.  But there is still some summer left before school starts and we'll have to find a way to have some fun at home.  I'll leave my sober depressing thoughts for after he goes to bed.

Bermuda Cupmatch Weekend 2015

In the five years we've lived on this island, we've spent every summer trying to demystify the four day holiday known as "Cup Match."

The commercial activity basically shuts down.  There's a two day long cricket match involving teams from opposite ends of the island.  There's loads of outdoor activities like camping, concerts, and water sports.  There's tons of food involved, of course.  Of course, there's also commemorating Emancipation itself.

This article from Larry Burchall provides some historical insight on the origins of the holiday.  Very informative.

This year, we actually made it to Cupmatch proper, as I will call it.  We got to the game, enjoyed the spirit of rivalry between St. Georges and Somerset, hung out with our ACE crew, and reveled in the best of summer, Bermuda style.  It was a fantastic weekend.

Some scenes:



Turquoise water of St Georges.



Camping tents set up by the water.  Notwithstanding the historical reasons behind the camping, I think it must be like having an island wide block party/tailgating party.  It's kind of like the Superbowl, but with cricket ... and Soca/Reggae music ... and rum swizzle. 

Which I made for the first time too.  Oy my head.



Theo hits the ocean for the first time!



BBQ and leaving party for friends.



So much great food, and such perfect hosts!  (photo - Sonia Jabon).



Water sport.



Cricket!



Seating at the Cricket Field.



Relaxing in the shade at the game (wearing our team colors!)



Theo's first cricket match!



High fiving Ms L, a very loyal Somerset girl. 

Congrats Somerset on claiming the cup this year.

"Question:

Why is St Georges drinking out de bottle?
Because Somerset stole de cup!  Bwah hahahah!"

Sorry, some Cupmatch humor courtesy of Ms. L.



Oy, the parking!

All in all, a great, fun, holiday.  Can't wait to celebrate it again next year!

Off to camp!

The big kids are off to camp, and we had the usual routine:

Loads of packing to get us through the month.



Travel adventure stories made more memorable with the arrival of this guy.



Reaching home base at Grandmas and waking up to this.



Loads of food.











Family Game night. 


And finally, drop off.

To make it easier, we split up this year.  Jeff took Mina. 



And I took Jordan.



Saying goodbye was not easy.



And I am already weepy thinking about it.  They've only been gone three days.  I really don't know what I am going to do when they go off to college.  I told Jeff maybe I would feel differently by then since they will be teenagers, and I'll be sick of them. 

But I doubt it.

Haunted History Tour of St Georges

One of the nice parts about having family visit, is discovering new attractions in Bermuda.  Recently, I learned about a tour of St. Georges, billed as a Haunted History.  What better way of exploring the cobblestone back alleys of a historic UNESCO site?



Our tour leader, in full attire.  He met us in Kings Square, lantern in hand.



As the sun set and introductions concluded, we ventured forth.



It was definitely a little creepy, especially wandering the graveyard at St. Peter's.



But it was also fascinating to learn about the settlement of the town, the former residents, and their tales of love, death and valor.



St Georges is a living, breathing town, despite its heritage status.  People go about their day to day lives in the midst of living history.

I loved peeking into courtyards and learning who once lived in this place.



The kids did too.



The Haunted History tour is a lot of fun and a welcome new attraction for Bermuda.  It's an easy walk of less than a mile, through the streets.  Wear comfortable shoes and feel free to bring the school age kids.  Definitely a family friendly activity!

Kristin White is the creative director and writer for this tour.  She's an amazing young woman whose love for St Georges is evident in this project she's put together.

More info on the tour can be found on the Haunted History site. 

And if you have specific questions, or want suggestions about arranging an itinerary, contact me via my Tipglo account.  A small fee is charged.

The baby's nursery - Beach theme.

They say "nesting" is one of the hallmarks of pregnancy. That, plus an enormous belly that sticks straight out and shifts around night and day of its own volition. With baby three, I've been in full nesting mode all spring and summer.

 I had hoped to get his room ready before August, since Bermuda summers are notoriously hot and humid.  That is draining no matter what condition your body is in.  I can assure you mine is in pretty miserable shape right now.

I only finished this last week, but since the baby is still not here, I am ahead of the game!

I failed to take any BEFORE pictures, which completely defeats the purpose of a redecorating post, but I know what it looked like. The only room available in our rental house was the one we were using as a guest room/office. It was a hodgepodge of mismatched furniture, drapes, and disorganization.  I hated it.

First step - picking a theme and color. I went with coastal/beachy as it seemed a natural fit for living in BDA.



The walls are stark white, which is not what I wanted.  Despite protests from Jeff (if we paint, we have to re-paint it white when we leave) it was time to paint - Benjamin Moore, Ocean Breeze. Pembroke Paint matched the color.  I found a painter via a friend's recommendation. Normally, I would do the painting, but I thought it best to avoid the fumes and step stools.

The say there's minimal fumes, but I still think there some.  Better safe than sorry.



The second big issue was storage. Having gone through the kid rodeo twice now, I know how critical organization can be. The room is relatively small, but it has a good size closet. I had hoped to either create a closet storage system or find a dresser, used.  Bermuda has a Craig's List type service called "Emoo" to resell items.  I've used it quite a lot to buy and sell things. I hoped I'd find something appropriate.

Closet storage systems that I liked were too expensive here and not worth the investment given we will eventually be moving when Jeff's work permit is up. Jeff was attracted to the cheap plastic bins that stack atop one another, which didn't appeal to me. So - the search for a dresser began. I kid you not that I have been looking since March.

I finally found this one at a consignment store. Its dimensions fit the closet, it was made all of wood, and I figured I could resell it once we leave the island. Resale is a big factor to consider as an ex pat.  It doesn't always pay to reship this stuff back to the states.  Apart from potential damage and cost, you have to think about how the furniture has soaked up the humidity and mold spores.  The last thing you want is bringing something back to your home in the US, that's releasing moisture and is warped and smells.

I wasn't expecting to find an enormous living cockroach in it, but such is Bermuda.  They are everywhere. It also wasn't cheap, like you would expect from a consignment shop, but I negotiated delivery down and saved Jeff the agony of throwing his back out again.  Plus, I knew I could make it work.



Cleaned up and defumigated, I think it looks lovely.  It has a lot of deep storage, so the baby's clothes can be organized by month while hanging items can be right above.  There's a lot of space on top for baskets to store blankets, wraps and bibs, as well as decorative items.  I may replace the knobs if I can find something more beachy.

There was also a bonus!



Unbeknownst to me, the dresser had a mirror that wasn't displayed when we saw it in the store. The shop owner sent it along with the delivery. I plan on using it in my daughter's room to create a vanity table. She's been admiring the very fancy one I have and promised we could create something for her. One more project to look forward to!



The walls were bare, so I pondered how to decorate them.  After searching for ideas on Houzz.com, I pictured framed shells/ burlap, bursts of orange to pop.  Luckily, while I was in the states, I spent a morning at Home Goods.  Beachy must be a popular theme this year because coastal decorating items stocked the store.  I bought two framed shells to bring back, baskets, and bedding for the guest bed.



The other major decor item was this canvas portrait.  I took this picture of Jordan over Easter weekend when we went kite flying on the beach.  To me, it encapsulated the best part of living on this island, and the colors were an exact match for what I wanted in the room.  I had hoped to find a place on the island to create the canvas in the dimensions I wanted, but alas, that did not happen.  So, onto Shutterfly - where I designed it and had it shipped to my parents house in NY (ignore the red shag carpeting in the room - that's their project to work on.)

While I was in the states, I picked it up, and brought it back to BDA as a checked item.  It was worth the duty we had to pay.



I also wanted something to personalize the room.  On Etsy, I found someone (Mangoseed) who creates hand made signs from beach driftwood and tin.  They are so gorgeous.  I got a Theo sign to hang right above the changing table.



This is the finished product overall.  The crib is a lent item from a friend.  The bedding is in the aqua/white and coral theme.  The guest bedding is from the Home Goods collection with some re purposed pillows.  The rug was ordered locally from Souza's.  They were fantastic and it arrived in less than 2 weeks.  Their customer service was top notch.   Drapes were ordered from Bed, Bath and Beyond as well as the shell finials that you can't see too well.  I tried to find locally, but failed.  Another duty item.  Sigh.  I also loved the wall decals of fish and coral.  Unfortunately, the walls in our house are textured concrete, so the decals do not lay flush the way I would like. 

Oh well.



Overall, I love this room.  It's bright and colorful and decidedly beachy - which I think makes sense given our locale. Unlike the nurseries I designed for Jordan and Mina, this one has no glider or such, but I can see myself using the guest bedroom to crash on when I have late night feedings or need a nap when the baby does.

The baby won't care what the room looks like, but I know I do!  Given how much time I expect to be spending in here, I think it's worth it to create a serene environment that makes us/me happy.

Cousins in Bermuda.

My nephews came to visit recently and soak up the summer sun on the beaches of Bermuda. I did not drag out the camera as much as I should have, mainly because I was just awed.



I mean, look at this face!!



My kids had a blast. Especially since Arman has reached the critical phase of being old enough to play with them, but still young enough to let them boss him around. They were in heaven. The perfect audience to all their craziness.



OMG. There's the face again...



A day into it, my poor nephew will never be the same. He came here content with organic lollipops as his special treat. He left scarred for life - Keebler fudge stripe cookies, M&M ice cream cones, sundaes with chocolate sauce and a choice of four different kinds of sprinkles.... ah well. What happens in Bermuda, stays in Bermuda.



They got along so well!



Bonding over chocolate shakes at the pool helped.



We can only hope they come back soon!!