Fast forward ten years.

A quick trip to Warwick Bay playground..



I remember when I used to push him on the swings.



And when he was scared of going down the slide by himself.

Walks with Theo.

Exploring the neighborhood - Fairylands.

I spent a lot of time researching the best stroller option for us, convinced that a daily walk would be the best thing for both Theo and myself.



Doesn't he look thrilled about it?



Granted, there are speed bumps along the way - both to finding the perfect stroller.  Hint - it's the proverbial unicorn.  As well as convincing your newborn that it's better to be out walking than stuck at home attached to the breast all day.



The best part of walks is discovering new things.  Even though we've lived in this neighborhood for almost two years now, I had no idea this place existed.  It's the Butterfield Nature Preserve.  I didn't venture up the stairs into the woods with the stroller, but I'm coming back with our dog soon so I can explore further.  Aren't these mossy steps inviting?

Get thee to the hills! Blissful Poconos, PA.

Lucky us - a whole summer off island! Destination - U.S.A.

Where should we begin? What should we do? How do we budget for this? How much time could Jeff take off from work? Who would care for our dog, Oscar?

After much discussion and flurries of emails, Jeff and I decided the best way to manage expenses would be to spend time with family at various destinations, and save a few days for hotels using Marriot rewards points. The kids could see family and friends, reconnect with favorite activities, and we'd have the luxury that comes with having a home base. Although Jeff couldn't take an entire month off of work, the weeks he allocated gave us a chance to enjoy the experience together.

Our first stop was Albrightsville, PA - a lovely hillside town located in the Poconos region of Pennsylvania.

We've had the pleasure of vacationing here several times, thanks to the generous hospitality of Grandma H and Grandpa Michael. Over the years, we've worked out a lovely system I call - "What happens at Grandma's, stays at Grandma's."

In other words, I butt out completely and let the Grands take over all childcare responsibilites while I curl up on the couch with a good book, hit the outlets for shopping, or go for a run on their conveniently spaced three mile gated community road.

Yes, I pinched myself sometimes. Reading for pleasure in the middle of the day?! Running easy, flat miles while the kids were splurging on "Pocono pancakes?" Why, yes, please!



Jordan and the fish! Some trout fishing at the local fish pond. Best part - Grandma rule #1, "Whatever you catch, we eat!" And they did!



Nature abounds! Mina and Jordan spent a morning at the Butterfly Sanctuary Museum admiring the monarchs and moths. This one shares Mina's love of glitter.



In between organized activities like museums, fishing trips and water parks (we revisited the H20 water park at Split Rock resort - a blast!) we also had down time to just hang out in the front yard, ride scooters, and make up games using that funny thing called "imagination."

One afternoon, I parked myself on the driveway, armed with with my book a desire to understand what was keeping the kids occupied for so many hours. I watched them zip by on scooters between sites on the driveway and yards. Occasionaly, I looked up to take some pictures and try to decipher the rules of this game called "restaurant."

It didn't matter. No helicopter parenting necessary. They were happy, and there wasn't an electronic device to be found between them.

Me either!

I rediscovered the textile joys of a paperback! Grandma had plenty of them stocking the shelves of the rec room library. Don't you just love taking a peek at other people's book collections?

I do.



Revisiting the Carbon County Fair. Jordan is secretly thrilled that he is too tall for the children's ferris wheel!



What's she doing?? This girl loves the camera.



And she loves a good slide too. Once upon a time, I used to climb up these tall slides behind them, dragging the burlap carpet bags over my shoulder.

No longer. I have big kids now. Sniff.



The flora and fauna about in Pennsylvania. Meet "Dog," a bunny at the 4H exhibit. Mina was in Heaven. Bunnies continue to be her thing.



Closer to home, these babies rested contentedly on Grandma H's yard as their mother scavenged amongst the nearby tree leaves. She would periodically come back and check on them, then wander off again.

Testing their independence, I suppose. Good strategy, mama. I'm starting to understand it myself.

Books read: "And the Sea will Tell," Vincent Bugliosi - a true crime story of a murder on an island in the Pacific Ocean.

Food Eaten: Pocono pancakes, Grandma's famous sugar cookies, trout, salads, wraps, outdoor grilling, vats of ice cream.

miles run: 7

miles on the scooter: marathon worthy

Vacation Tales - Part I

Over the River and Through the Woods...

Once upon a time, Grandma H. ventured into the woods and came upon a house in the country. After seeing herds of deer trot lightly across the backyard, she was instantly sold. This is what happens when city folk venture north of the Tappen Zee. Crazy encounters with wildlife get them itching to buy real estate.

Just kidding. The house in the Poconos is now serving as a great vacation away from our home in Bermuda. Since the kids do nothing in school but enjoy one break after another, we decided to enjoy their week off in a winter wonderland. We also had to throw a biopsy for Jordan in there too, but more on that later. Big thanks to Grandma H and Michael for hosting our gang and making the vacation so much fun.

Of course, we first had to figure out how to get the car down the driveway.

Ah.. look! A man with a shovel!

Just when we thought "we" were done with snow forever. Bwah ha ha!!

I particularly enjoyed these pictures. Of course, I had to work quickly because I didn't want the change in temperatures or condensation to adversely affect the lens of my Nikon D90. (bwah ha ha!!) But like a good documentarian, I thought it necessary to capture the moment when my shorts-lovin', cycle-ridin, new Bermudian resident donned his boots and parka and hit the white stuff again. Look how cute he looks all manly like this with a shovel and determined look on his face. It's like being back in college in Binghamton! Snow, boots, and rosy red cheeks.

Speaking of rosy cheeks - look at this guy. Our munchkins look much happier than their dad. Being kids, they are impervious to the cold.

I know Mina is buried in there somewhere. Possibly under the fur cuff.

What happens in Grandma's house, stays in Grandma's house. That includes episodes when the baking fever drives Grandma and grandkids to produce both cupcakes AND cookies in the same day.

Oh those cookies are good. They really, really are. Having eaten at least twenty of them myself, I speak from experience. Conveniently, Grandma's home is a developed community located on a beautiful three-plus mile loop. I spent some serious time out there running those cookies (and lobster, and wine, and chocolate, etc) off. It was a blast. The air was crisp and clean. Without the humidity (or the trails, or sand, or heat) running was a lot easier. I did have to watch out a bit for ice, but you can't have it all.

Ever heard of something called "Penguin Sledding?" Me neither. But my kids made it up and it's a cheap winter sport. Just find a hill and throw yourself down it belly first. But don't come crying to me if you bang your chin up or there's blood on you somewhere.

Yeah, you either.

The trip to Grandma's coincided with Valentine's Day. Jeff's present to me was a night away in a local resort. My present to him was not bankrupting us on the way to said resort. I sort of tried to restrain myself, but it was hard given that we passed the Crossings Outlet Mall on the way. The porter counted our bags and told me I had just set the record for the year. I wasn't that impressed since it's only February.

For the record, I know it looks crazy, but I have to put it in context. Most of the bags are Jeff's anyway.

The next day, we returned to the homestead. The kids looked up for a minute from their sugar frenzy; and we headed out for the next adventure - skiing!! Take a look at that sign above the door. That's the kind of sign I like to see.

And this is our reaction.

The kids spent three hours in the "Snow Monsters" ski school at Jack Frost Mountain. We watched them in the comfort of the lodge. Through the glass windows, we laughed at them trudging through the snow, up the "magic carpet" conveyor belt, and then wedge themselves down the little baby hills.

So cute!!!

Look at this little guy. He did so good!! He took to it right away. Once he got the hang of it, he did the typical guy thing and tackled the hills straight down.

This one, I'm not so sure about. But she does know how to pose.

Then they took them on the ski lift; and I lost a few more years off my life. That girl sitting next to Jordan is only six as well. Nothing like letting the blind lead the blind. Notice the bar isn't even down. This is the end of the lift, so you can't really appreciate the height it went to coming UP the hill. The thought of Jordan hanging up there with nothing but own wits to protect him, oh Lord...

Turns out, they did just fine.

Thankfully someone in a position of authority realized that Mina might need some help.

Kidding aside, it was seriously awesome watching these two learn to ski. Having learned relatively late in my own life, I'm glad these two are getting an earlier exposure to it. Like other parents who're crazy enough to let their tots do it, we all agree that little kids have less of a distance to fall when they topple over.

Watching the kids have so much fun prompted Jeff and I to rent some skis the next day and give it a go too. The weather was gorgeous! Warm (I was sweating in that puffy jacket and hat), barely a breeze, and perfect for an afternoon of skiing down nice, gentle slopes. Jeff dragged me to a couple intermediate ones, and much to my surprise, I did not kill myself. Or him. I guess growing up in upstate NY has its advantages. If you don't ski in the winter, what the heck else are you going to do with yourself?

And then the kids wanted to go with us. Jordan went with Jeff.

1

And Mina went with me. And then I realized that she hadn't learned a darn thing in class and mid-slope, she decided she couldn't make it down the hill. Argh!

me: Mina!! We can't climb back up the hill!! Didn't they teach you how to make a wedge? Come on, just hold my pole. We'll take nice big turns and go slow.

Mina: (sniffling) Mommy!!! I want to go back!! I want to go on the lift!

Me: Mina, we can't go on the lift till we get to the BOTTOM of the hill. The lift takes us back to the top of the hill. We have to ski to the bottom.

repeat conversation a few more times. I begin to feel myself slip from my parallel position on my skis and start to move backward...

Thankfully, Jeff and Jordan came shushing by. We switched kids, and I went down with Jordan. Or I should say, I tried to slow Jordan down while he desperately tried to snowplow his way down the bunny slope.

(more to come.)

MIA. Hi there!

In other news, Jordan came home on Friday with his school portrait. Behold! The missing Beatle.



I just love this. This is Jordan in all his shaggy glory. But, wow. When did he get so big? Looking at this picture too long, almost makes me see the teenager he is going to become.

((( Shudder)))

He's not allowed to grow up so fast. Especially if growing up means suddenly expressing your opinion all over the place.



Exhibit A:
This is what happens when your child learns how to write. This is Jordan's hate filled screed dedicated to me. His mom. The one that gave birth to him. The one that labored through hours of nausea and dry heaves. The one that lay by his bedside sobbing in tears and praying while he was on ECMO. The one that went on national television television and relived every agonizing detail of his story so that people would know that real people's lives were affected by organ donation. The one who's picture was splashed across the major newspapers of NYC. The one that stood at the alter in St. Patrick's Cathedral, choking back sobs before the entire audience, to publicly thank the mom - Nikki and her angel - Breanna - who gave you another chance at life.

Me.

The one that carried you for 42 weeks and has sweated every single decision I've ever made with respect to your care. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

He wrote:

"Dear Mom I hate you soooo much 'cause you're so mean You're one of the meanest mommies ever."

The backdrop was a time out. That came about because he literally screamed at me in protest when I had the audacity to suggest he pick up his toys before running out the door to play. Following the screaming, I put him into time out without the usual warnings. Once the time out was over, we sat down together and talked about why he had been punished and why screaming in this situation was a bad idea. I thought I was clear. I thought he understood. He nodded and then went downstairs to the art table and went ahead and penned his "card." He handed it to me very politely, then went outside to play.

I, of course, burst into tears

Sometimes, I just don't know what it is I'm doing as a mom. There are so many times when I find myself thinking that no matter what, I just can't win. When I was working full-time, the kids used to complain because I wasn't in school volunteering at parties or being the class mom. Jordan used to cry and say, "you never come on field trips with us!" I used to look at pictures of the kids from school on those trips and cringe when I saw a teacher holding their hands, instead of me.

Yet on the other hand, now that I'm a full time stay at home mom, I get comments from the kids saying, "You don't work. You don't have a job. You stay home all day."

Damned if you do. Damned if you don't. I have no answers to this. No one does. It's the eternal mothering dilemma. I've been on both sides of the equation, and it doesn't matter. One way or the other, as a mom, you will never feel like you've won on this issue. There are times I miss working. And there are countless other times when I am so glad that I have the privilege of being home with them now, getting involved in their schools, and helping them the best way I can.

Moms just can't win.

The best we can hope to do is keep trying to do our best.

"All I knew how to do was keep on keepin on..." said one of my favorite songsters.




Exhibit B: Why I think Jeff is the best father ever.

Jeff knew how upset I was about Jordan's note. He asked me if I had talked to him about it, and I said that I hadn't. When Jordan handed me the note, all I did was say thank you. "I'm glad you wrote down how you feel." But that evening, I was pretty much holding back tears. In the morning, after fixing him his breakfast, Jeff must have sat down with Jordan and spoke to him about what happened. While I was out on my run, Jordan worked on a new card. And when I read it, I burst into tears again.

"Mommy I love you I'm sorry love Jordan."

Sigh.. Do I have the best guys or what?

Despite being in Bermuda, arguably one of the most beautiful places ever, the quotidian details of our life still have to be managed. Among them, basic childhood development.



A few weeks back, we were in the "dollar" store getting some miscellaneous item. Both kids were with me. Don't ask me why. Miss Mina saw some toy that she decided she absolutely, positively, must have right then and there.

I said no.

Why?

Well... "No," because ABSOLUTELY nothing in the "dollar" store in Bermuda is actually a dollar. That's kind of why I have those parenthetical quotes around the word.

And two - there was no reason the child needed another toy. She had just been graced with a grandparent visit that included lots of toys. We just had Christmas with lots of toys. We're still getting Christmas packages trickling in with, let me repeat, LOTS of toys.

So, I passed on the opportunity to spend $30 on a Barbie at the "Dollar" store.

When we got home, I suggested a new approach to the toy situation. "Let's earn them!" I said cheerfully! We carefully discussed a point system for earning toys. 10 points for an "itty-bitty" toy; 20 for a medium one; 30 for "BIG TOY." I would be the ultimate arbitrator of determining size of toys. I gave them ball park estimates based on toys they already own. I also warned them that BAD behavior would result in points being taken away.





With steadfast determination, Miss Mina earned her points. Each day, she did the small tasks without muster or fail. She's a smartie though. She's made a point of reminding me that certain things are worthy of a "tick." (There's that Brit talk again. We used to call them check-marks)





But, as of Friday, she earned her thirty points. We went back to the dollar store and she purchased her own "big toy." It was a golf set that consisted of two plastic clubs, two plastic golf balls, and three putting markers.

What I loved best was her joy in sharing the toy with her big brother. She happily handed him a club too - so they could play together.

She just kills me.

All the golf practice came in handy. We hit the miniature golf circuit this weekend. Despite the rain.









Fishing the ball out of the obstacles became more exciting than the game itself, methinks.



Forced family shot.

So, life in Bermuda continues to be pretty darn good. I have thankfully avoided shovelling snow for the foreseeable future. This fact alone confirms my belief that there is a God. I can still remember last February when I was shovelling two feet of snow in my driveway, navigating minivan road slides on Christie Street, and cursing nature for the never-ending white blanket that was around me.

I remember praying that I would be happy if I never saw snow again in my life.



Thanks, God. We are truly blessed.



Back to reality... with the good, there's the icky. No snow.. but rain or shine - these things are always crawling up and down the outside of our house.



I hear they're good with a little garlic and butter.

There's flying cockroaches too. I haven't seen any in the house yet, but when I walk Oscar I see them squished on the street. They are ENORMOUS. Bigger than any NYC cockroach I have ever seen.

(((shudder)))