
Things spiraled downward these past few weeks. The usual craziness that starts when the school season begins. Going to try and dig myself out of the hole from here.

The kids have been busy with school and after-school activities. This term they are doing the usual things - gymnastics, art, cooking class, an occasional tennis lesson. Jordan was asked to join a competitive gymnastics group that meets for longer practices during the week. I'm debating that one. We may try it out next term. They entered an art contest sponsored by Jeff's company. We spent a few days during the week collecting discarded plastic bits off the beach to create mosaics and sculptures. As you can see, the kids worked really hard on this one.
We did enjoy the interesting sand sculptures on Horseshoe Bay Beach that afternoon... any guesses what this theme might have been?




September marked the one year anniversary of our family moving to Bermuda. To celebrate, I made home made naan.

I'm just kidding. Bread making is not how I normally commemorate an occasion.
I made naan for the first time in September because it was on my bucket list of culinary things to do (along with cooking a lobster. I don't know if I will ever be able to do that... I shudder thinking about watching a live animal put into a pot of boiling water.)
I was super proud of myself with the bread attempt. Trying it just meant getting over the fear of failure. I've discovered that's pretty much the case when it comes to anything cooking/baking related. If it bombs, so what? I suppose there's a life lesson in there somewhere. Except the lobster thing. That's a whole other level of failure potential there.
There are some logistics to getting the timing of the bread rolled and to the pan. I had Jeff man the grill pan while I shaped and rolled each piece, so that they'd all be made quickly in one batch. But, I think I can figure out how to do this so it's not a two man operation. Jeff suggested building a tandoor oven in the backyard, so all I have to do is slap the bread around on it.
Yeah, that made a lot of sense to me too.
Actually, in all honesty, I celebrated our one year Bermuda anniversary by drinking two glasses of wine on the couch while watching the "Real Housewives of NJ." I got really depressed and argued with my husband.
Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with me either. As I reflect on this year, I've been trying to figure it out. And every time I try to analyze it, I find myself thinking there must be something wrong with me.
The year went by quickly, except when it didn't. And sometimes it really didn't.
Sometimes you get caught up in the perception of what your friends and family think your life is like, and the honesty of what you are struggling with. We're not on perpetual holiday out here, despite all appearances. Yes, it's beautiful - most of the time. Except when it isn't. The people are really nice. Except when they aren't. Or when they're apathetic. Or when they're inefficient. Or when you realize that many of them do not want you here in their country at all. It's odd feeling like an outsider, an interloper.. someone whose presence here is tolerated because their husband's guest worker status.
Some things have been easier to get used to.. I miss work, but I don't miss the two hour long commute. Despite my initial fears, I got used to driving on the left hand side of the narrow, little roads. Although, judging from the left hand side of our car, this might not be totally true. That side has seen its share of scrapes. whoops.
I love having more time with the kids. At this age, they can be amazing. And to have the luxury of staying home with them is a trip. It's such a relief to be able to get to do stuff at school with them. I don't have to feel that torment I used to when work interfered with school trips, class celebrations, or daily volunteering. Part of the reason I volunteer at school is because I get a daily kick out of seeing the kids faces light up when they see me. At recess, or lunch duty, or library time, or reading time - I love that look they get. I also have a sneaking suscpicion that as they get older, it may be different.
Other things, I'm still trying to wrap my head around. I miss my friends back home.. a lot. Really, a lot. I miss the sense of a neighborhood and a community.
Bermudian ex pat life has its charms, make no mistake about it. Being out here, we're surrounded by a handful of others in similar circumstances. It's a good group. We've all made some friends, had fun times. Everyone's been welcoming. We're all in an odd duck sort of place. Not that there is anything wrong with that. In fact, there's something rather amazing about that.. The kids go to school with children who have lived and travelled all over the world. Their perspective is decidedly enhanced by conversations about life in the U.K, or Vancouver.. or Singapore, or New Jersey....
But, it's very transient; and I think people realize that quickly. You might be here for a year or five years ... or Lord help me, thirteen years. Your friends here will come and go. Isn't that true no matter where you live?
But I wonder if part of you doesn't get lost in the process of saying good-bye.
It makes me wonder where home is.
That being said, we survived year one. Yay!
6 comments:
Hey, we were just talking about you guys last night. Rowan remembered how Jordan likes to dip his chicken nuggets in syrup. We always think that since you guys moved to such a beautiful place, your life must be idyllic. That that would somehow shield you from LIFE. But that's so absurd. Reading your post made me realize that it must be exhausting for you at times to be in this foreign place, learning everything anew. You're doing all the right things: taking the good with the bad, watching the kids blossom, and baking naan. :-) Miss you guys!
In the late 80s/90s when we emigrated to America all we heard was "lucky buggers with all that fine weather" and "ye must be making money hand over fist".
Right......
You have classic expat feelings. Neither here nor there, neither of nor from, happy with/lonely for etc etc.
Home is exactly where the kids come flying through the door. That door can be NJ, Bermuda, a hotel room or god forbid, a car and blankets.
I miss brown bread, one wardrobe, endless cups of tea beside toasty fires and ranges.
I don't miss rain, and fatalism, and rude cashiers.
But I love Thanksgiving, drive-throughs etc etc.
See ...same..
I find wine helps :)
P - Jordan and Mina no longer dip anything into that pure maple syrup we used to buy so freely back home because, ironically, it costs too damn much here, so I weaned them off of it very quickly. Hurray for that!!
We miss you too!! We are coming back to visit in at the end of October for a couple days.
km - I LOVE that you get it. I should pick your brain more often. Once upon a time, I did a live abroad bit as a student for six months, so I know that a place tends to grow on you. I've tried really hard not to complain too much, but at the one year anniversary it dawned on me that it might not hurt to take stock in how I actually felt about all this. I'm going to try and chill out now... having gone through the fall/winter season here once, I now know what to expect and it won't be so bad. BTW, you have me intrigued. "Brown bread?" I must investigate.
yeah, I am all over the wine.
http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/irish-brown-bread-10000000522965/
It's hard to get it exactly right without Irish Odlums wholewheat flour but that recipe is pretty good. Let it cool before cutting and slather it with good butter. Kerrygold if you can find it:)
Hey it's alright to complain. You're lucky your husband is expat too so you can vent without the "if you don't like it, leave" peanut gallery.
My husband complains everywhere I drag him too. In his mind everyone in NYC is just better. He also wants to retire in FL (He's 41 but thinking of it already).I enjoyed NY but love living in the sticks of central CT. Geographically close, but completely different. I want to retire to a college town near the ocean so that I can have peaceful moments and good conversation.
km -
Thanks for the recipe!! It looks awesome! The reviews were all consistently high stars so it must be good. I love the breads with the added yogurt or buttermilk.. it gives it just a teeny tang to the bite.
ps - your idea of retirement sounds pretty nice. Which coast? I think I'd need something warm...BDA has spoiled me.
I have yet to see the West coast but I think it would be a good spot for an old liberal like myself. I am actively encouraging my two sons, a mere 11 and 7, to pick colleges in interesting places so that I can see more of this country.
Did you know that there are good colleges in Napa?
My swim son (the old one) recommends Hawaii. U of Nev. has a good swim team too and I could hit the slots he assured me.
College-aged me likes the way he thinks. Mommy-me clutches the pearls:) Will no one think of Harvard?
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