They say "these days" will go by so fast.
Every baby is different, and we are learning about ours.
Right now, we are deep in the trenches of life with a newborn. Endless nights, long stretches of daytime, a little mouth attached to my breast, and the constant feeling of sleepiness that hazes over everything.
There are moments like this one.
I think I'm still hormonal because I want to cry when I see this. Was it really nine and a half years ago that I had Jordan? Was it that long ago that he was a tiny baby attached to machines?
And now he's a big, big brother.
When I look at Theo, I see Jordan all over again - the Jordan I thought we were going to have before all hell broke loose. That sounds odd, doesn't it? It's not like saying it's a second chance. Obviously we got a second chance with Jordan when he had a heart transplant.
Looking at Theo is liking looking at a duplicate of what Jordan looked like when he was born. It's a weird deja vu/parallel universe of what normal would have been like minus the heart issues.
Getting out and about with the baby - a stop at Jeff's office and art gallery.
They say you have to stop and smell the roses sometimes. I caught a glimpse of the amazing photography exhibit at ACE and I had to step in. Good thing Theo was sleeping. This was coming on the tale end of our first morning walking in town. Although I've been using the stroller regularly for walks in our neighborhood, I havent ventured yet into the shops along Front St. just yet. Today was the day.
Theo did ok. Fussing a bit when the stroller stopped moving, which became a minor problem as I was checking out at the register. But not a big deal. It's definitely easier having gone through this before. You don't get as fazed by the minor crying or worry so much what other people think.
"They" love to say newborns sleep all the time. Some certainly do. Yet all too often, Theo fights it. Which is why I have resorted to wearing the infamous black chador of despair, a/k/a the moby wrap. Yards and yards of fabric envelope my midsectiona and chest - all for the purpose of instantly putting the baby into a deep sleep.
The boy is attached to my breast whenever he is not sleeping. I can't keep up with him, and I've resorted to supplementing with both formula and expressed milk I've been pumping. Never had this problem with Jordan or Mina, but not much else I can do when I see him crying after a full feeding. I also like being able to share the feeding duty with Jeff, who gives him a bottle before bedtime.
The wee twilight hours between night and day. Little guy is always by my side in the nursery. I'm reminded of the time it took to set it up and feel pleased that it's decorated to my taste. To Jeff's credit, leaving the guest bed in there was a good idea. Theo and I are camped out on it all night.
Sleep training will begin in a few weeks when he's developmentally ready. I'm a big fan of Marc Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits" book, and used it successfully for both Jordan and Mina. It saved our lives, and I am hoping his research will work with Theo.
"They" say moms should nap when the baby does, which I try, but the lack of sleep at night is making my brain really fuzzy. Not good. They also don't have any advice for what to do when you try to sleep but your mind is racing, thinking about all the other things you have to do, or your ears are on high alert as you wait for the baby to start crying again because you've had the nerve to put him in his crib.
I don't know why he hates the crib, or the bassinet, or the baby swing, or the standing rocker. I'm guessing it's because I'm not laying next to him with my breast in his mouth. Jeff has suggested designing a baby product - a synthetic breast that keeps the baby company during nap time.
Don't steal our idea. If I ever get some sleep I might start designing it.