Sunday, October 07, 2007

And now, back to life.

I thought it appropriate to provide a visual representation of this week in a nutshell. What is that thing floating around in the commode? An east German communist era sanitary napkin?* A plastic bag? A $500 emergency plumbing bill about to happen?

No. This is my son's handiwork.

He decided he was done with diapers. "All done," as he likes to say. And in the spirit of that newfound certainty, he decided to dispose of them himself. Starting with the one he was wearing at the time. This was his solution.

Exit, stage left. Pants optional.

So maybe this was the big breakthrough, I thought. Maybe he was finally ready to take potty training seriously. What do I do? Now. Right now? Put the diaper back on? Let him run around commando and encourage him to tell me when he has to go? I had no idea.

Naturally, he had two accidents almost immediately, just for the hell of it. They weren't even real pees, for crying out loud. They were little spotty tinkles just to throw me off my game even more.

I wish I could say the weighty matter of potty training was my only worry this week. If that was it, I'd be a happy camper. Nah.

I also got to agonize over notes sent home from the teacher, emails and phone calls from her about Jordan's "transitioning problem." In English, that means he has been crying and fussing in school when asked to go from one activity to the next. He doesn't have a problem doing an activity once in the middle of it. He has a problem getting there. Apparently this is a huge problem, and if Jordan can't get his act together, I am supposed to evaluate whether he is ready for preschool.


The next day Jordan woke up with a roaring fever, complete lethargy, and rapid breathing. Monkey Sr. and I freaked out, and spent the rest of the day in and out of doctors offices, x-ray labs, and pharmacies. Tests have ruled out anything serious, but in the meantime, Miss Mina picked up the bug and the house has been buzzing with the lively sounds of kids hacking and sneezing and snotting all over me, themselves, and each other.

This is what happens when vacation is over. Life smacks you in the face twice for good measure.

* I only recently had the misfortune to discover what one of these things actually looks like, and it's a scary sight. Be careful whom you invite into your home people.
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