Wednesday, June 17, 2009

All I need now is a reverse mullet and a free tummy tuck.

First - cute pic. Then the rest of the day.

I love this outfit he put together. And they say that boys clothing isn't as cute as girls.

Now, back to reality.

This clip has been making the airwaves for a week now, and I've watched it numerous times. Personally, I think it's just God-awful parenting in action and disturbing on so many levels. I used to be a fan of the show, but I've sworn it off now because I think this train wreck needs to end.

Unfortunately, I had my own Kate Gosselin moment tonight, and I don't mean I went and had my nails done with the American Chopper guys, or got a free tummy tuck, or hairplugs for my husband.

Jordan was in rare form at dinner tonight. Both him and Mina feed off of each other, instead of the food, once they get on a bad behavior roll. This night was no exception. We employ the "three strikes and you're in time out" routine. It usually works. But after both of them got two strikes within minutes of each other, I realized things were escalating to the point of no return way too fast. So I threw in an added consequences, issued with a stern warning:

"If you get three strikes tonight, you will get a time out, and dinner will be OVER. No more dinner. I will take it away."

Cue the barely disguised chuckles and smirks behind the cups.

Now here's how I know women are just biologically designed to outlive men. We're smarter, have better sense, and actually possess the basic survival skills needed to outsmart threats to our well being. Mina - who has the capacity to be just as fresh as Jordan - immediately shut up and quickly began eating her food. She also worked on getting on my good side, and asked for some extra soup. She sat there calmly, sipping on the soup and not making another sound. She knew I had reached the boiling point.

Jordan, on the other hand, has no survival instincts to speak of. He kept acting up - little, annoying things done just for the sake of attention. My repeated warnings fell on deaf, and deafer ears.. until finally, I just got up, picked him up and put him in the naughty chair. While he screamed away, I cleared away the rest of his dinner - leaving only his milk.

He finally quieted down from time out, we discussed why he was sent there, and he returned to to the table. Where all hell broke loose once again. Seeing that his plate was cleared, he lost it. Completely. He began screaming and begging for food. Begging! Like this kid has ever shown an interest in food before.

He cried, and screamed and sobbed. Naturally, our kitchen windows were wide open, so the neighbors got a good earful. I kept wondering what I would think if I heard my neighbor's kid begging for food. Especially since Mina and I continued to sit at the table and eat our dinner. He just stood there next to me, sobbing.

Yep, there we were, eating. I sat there eating my dinner while Jordan cried away for his. The whole time, I sat there thinking about Kate Gosselin. Every bite I took felt bitter and painful, as I debated whether to give in and just make him another plate of dinner. Or whether I should hold my ground this once and see if it made a difference.

I held out. He calmed down and climbed onto my lap. While he was quiet, I tried to explain in four sentences what the issue was. (Jeff's aunt gave me this rule over the weekend, and I thought it was brilliant. Make each explanation only as long as their age.) So I said:

"This is our house."
"In our house we have rules."
"If you break the rules, there will be a consequence."
"You were naughty at the table, so no dinner."

He looked up at me, eyes still wet from crying and said,

"Next time, I'm giving YOU a time out."

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