Wednesday, January 20, 2010

It's not fair!

Lately, this expression has been getting a lot of use in the house. I'm not quite sure where Jordan learned this. I've been thinking about whether I might have said it in some context or another. Because whatever I said, the way Jordan uses it - well, it doesn't always make sense.

For example,

Me: Ok, guys, it's time to go to bed.

Jordan: That's not FAIR!!!

This makes about as much sense as most of the arguments I hear at work all day.

It's 8:00. It's the time of the night when you go to bed. It's the same time of the night you've gone to bed for the last several years. As far as I know, we're not adjusting the clock backwards or forwards for spring or fall daylight savings. It's not a holiday. You have school tomorrow. You get up at 6:30 every day and you need sleep.

Ergo - it's time to go upstairs, put the pajamas on, brush your teeth, pick out clothes for tomorrow, and read the two stories we have allotted every night before bed. And yes, I know it's not fair that it's only two stories, as opposed to 15 - but because we've always only read two stories since time immemorial, I am going to chalk this one up to a term called "precedent." I'll explain that to you later.

Maybe my sense of justice and integrity is skewed. Personally, I thought it wasn't fair when I was rudely awoken at 4:00 am this morning because someone had to pee. I especially thought it wasn't fair because my alarm is set to go off at 5:00 am, and I wasn't able to get back to sleep. I also don't think it's fair that this child needs a whole menagerie of animals to sleep with and will throw a fit if one of them is missing from her room at bedtime, thus necessitating a trip downstairs to find the missing one.

I also don't think it's fair she insists on bringing at least one of them to school every day and trusts me to ensure that it comes home with her at night.

On another front, I don't think it's fair that I have to diligently count every bite of food that passes my lips and methodically record the point values of things in the hope of losing the teeniest ounce. Meanwhile, my children can scarf down nothing but pizza, ice cream and grilled cheese sandwiches all weekend long and they barely weigh 40 pounds. And of course what's truly not fair is that the excess weight I've been carrying around the last five years, pretty much coincided with giving birth to the two of them 18 months apart.

I also don't think it's fair that my husband can consume quarts of ice cream in front of me when he knows I am watching my points, but when he wants to drop a few points he glibly asks me how many points are in the meals I cook. And I tell him, and make sure I cook healthy, and all he needs to do to drop weight is eat one or two spoonfuls less of something and BOOM - in a week he's back to normal.

So,I'm still trying to understand Jordan's concept of justice and morality, which, though primitive, still seems to be rooted in the basic idea that he's little and I'm big and it never seems to go the way he wants it to.


Except of course, from my point of view, it seems that once you have kids - it's always about them. Which is probably the way nature designed it to be. Is it fair? I dunno... I leave those big questions to others.

The one question I can answer though is in response to a reader who asked where I get the photo stickers I used on Jordan's favor boxes:

I ordered them from snapfish. Here's a hint - before you actually pay for your orders at checkout, always check this website - couponcodes - for deal saving discounts. Snapfish is frequently knocking off shipping and handling charges or offering discounts on prints.

Another great site for stickery things that I love is MOO. Here you can order sticker booklets with a series of pictures. They are much smaller but incredibly cute.

I use those little stickers on snack bags I send in with the kids to school in their lunch boxes, or to seal envelopes on thank you cards, or as reward stickers. The kids get a kick out of seeing themselves in sticker form.
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